Tuesday, June 13, 2006

"With very few exceptions, a tournament champion is a mediocre limit hold'em player with a monstrous ego. Tournament-winning is the path to the dark side. Tournament-winning leads to ego. Ego leads to presumption. Presumption leads to discomposure."

Howdy all, thanks for stopping by this humble poker blog. You're in luck - I feel like cracking off a rambling, tangential uber post. Please bear with me because there's a ton to get to: random poker news, how to hustle at golf in Las Vegas and Dutch Boyd going off his meds.

Let's rock n roll.

My wife's family had a family reunion this past weekend in Pittsburgh. Because of all the kids, we ended up spending an afternoon at an amusement park called Kennywood. A more appropriate name would have been CrackerWood. I'm not sure where all these one-toothed troglodytes came from. West Virginia? Can ya tell me, MeneGene?

And what the hell is going on in Pittsburgh with making beer nearly impossible to freaking purchase? Are the Shakers still in control over there? The damn amusement park didn't even sell any, much less any store I could find. Only "authorized beer distributors" can sell beer? For a supposed blue-collar town, I was extremely disappointed.

Shame on you, Pittsburgh. I wore my Carson Palmer jersey with pride, damnit.
I'm glad Big Ben didn't wreck his motorcycle face until after I left town.

Per my opening quote, I'm sad to say that I still haven't even tried once to win a WSOP Main Event seat. Call it apathy. Call it discipline. Call it whatever you want, but I just don't care. I suppose I could just buy my way in, but that seems even more silly than wasting my time trying to win a seat.

DoubleAs has some fine points and questions about ROI per tourney play. For me, when I quit my job almost two years ago, I saw a bright and shiny future of me playing tons of NL tourneys and hitting some big juicy paydays. Alas, nothing could be further from the truth. After spending 6 or 7 hours in a tourney, playing well and ending up with nothing to show for it, I quickly decided that wasn't where my bread was buttered. Grinding may be unsexy and boring as hell at times, but it's nice to know that I was padding my bankroll, earning money instead of taking shots at a mythical payday.

If and when I go back to work, possibly after this summer, I'm not sure if I'll ever grind again. My bankroll is fine so with the security of a steady paycheck, I can forsee me focusing 100% on tourney play. Ironic, isn't it? The grass is always greener, apparently.

I think it may be a matter of "fun" versus necessity.

But it's also knowing that I could play tourneys with impunity, something that I don't feel I have the luxury of doing right now. I mean, I STILL have to earn money every day, week, month - to pay my bills. I've been overly conservative of my bankroll after losing my first one many years ago. But it's not just the money or the -EV factor - it's the time spent chasing the elusive tournament hit.

Besides, there are only two kinds of money: the kind you spend and the kind you leave behind. Time spent is a different matter.

But I digress. And I'm not going to bitch about tournament poker play being for the short-term or more luck dependant or yadda yadda yadda. Tournaments are fun as hell - just a different skill set.

It's all about the bottle - the British term meaning the ability to be in a situation and feel comfortable, be in control, and have the mental toughness to get the job done. Great poker champions have the bottle almost all the time. Some have the bottle at isolated moments, others find it only once in their careers and yet some will never find it.

Rarely is anything in poker etched in stone, but playing to your strengths is a must to be successful. The up and downs of poker have been so difficult and maddening for me that I simply found I didn't have the intestinal fortitude to battle through the rough streaks while ALSO getting my junk kicked in tournaments. I may be a sick degenerate but I'm no masochist. Trust me, there's a big difference.

So anyway, per the WSOP, I'll likely play a few small events for grins but only take a shot at a Main Event seat here: PokerStars is guaranteeing 150 seats in a $327 tourney on 7/16. Full Tilt is guaranteeing 100 seats on the same day. I think the buyin on that one is $535. And, of course, Party Poker is running nightly WSOP main event guarantee seat tourneys. At some point I'll try a few of those.

Anyway, I was pondering holding one last WSOP satellite tourney for bloggers and anyone showing up in Vegas for our extravaganza, but instead, I'm going to give this prize away for the winner of the blogger tournament in Vegas.

Allow me to present the highly coveted Golden Hammer Trophy:

I have three fine online reads for my faithful readers. Ok, only two. This first one everyone has read already, methinks.

The New York Times has a lengthy "PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN" article about online poker - featuring that preachers son, college kid, Greg Hogan, who robbed a bank (in one of the lamest attempts ever, I might add) to pay off his online poker gambling debts. Good gravy, you fucking idiot frat boy.

The Hold-'Em Holdup

My favorite quote from the seven page article:

He had not and would not read any of the half-dozen books that together give a rough grasp of how hard hold 'em is to master. He had no idea that many of his opponents were self-styled professionals using a special program called Poker Tracker to analyze betting patterns and seek out fish like geelehigh.

I read that and have to pinch myself. I guess I really am playing against folks who have never taken the time to read a poker book. Nothing surprises me anymore.

This anti-poker legislation is as pointless as our war on drugs. Don't make our kids grow up, learn consequences, and be responsible; no, let's just take temptation out of their way as much as we can. Yeesh.

From the New Yorker:
How a Massachusetts psychotherapist fell for a Nigerian e-mail scam.

Every swindle is driven by a desire for easy money; it’s the one thing the swindler and the swindled have in common. Advance-fee fraud is an especially durable con. In an early variation, the Spanish Prisoner Letter, which dates to the sixteenth century, scammers wrote to English gentry and pleaded for help in freeing a fictitious wealthy countryman who was imprisoned in Spain.

Today, the con usually relies on e-mail and is often called a 419 scheme, after the anti-fraud section of the criminal code in Nigeria, where it flourishes. (Last year, a Nigerian comic released a song that taunted Westerners with the lyrics “I go chop your dollar. I go take your money and disappear. Four-one-nine is just a game. You are the loser and I am the winner.”) The scammers, who often operate in crime rings, are known as “yahoo-yahoo boys,” because they frequently use free Yahoo accounts. Many of them live in a suburb of Lagos called Festac Town. Last year, one scammer in Festac Town told the Associated Press, “Now I have three cars, I have two houses, and I’m not looking for a job anymore."

Read the whole thing, it’s pretty damn interesting. I can’t understand why someone would ever fall for something like this, but I guess the answer is simple greed.

Article #3 - Las Vegas Golf Hustlers with Russ Hamilton as your guide.
I never knew about the vaseline trick.

Excellent article.
The Hustlers
In high-stakes golf, Vegas-style, the stakes just keep getting higher

On the first tee, Russ Hamilton extracted an industrial-size tube of Vaseline from his bag and squirted a healthy dose on the fender above the left wheel of his cart. When applied to the club face, the Vaseline—known among hustlers as "grease"—eliminates spin and makes it close to impossible to hit troublesome hooks and slices. Hamilton has been playing with grease so long now that he refuses to play without it. Among most golf gamblers, there is a widely accepted set of rules: You putt everything out and you play everything down. Other than that, anything goes. You can carry twenty-six clubs if you want, including some you built in your garage, and you can most certainly use grease.

In a followup, it appears Daniel Negreanu thinks Mr. Russ Hamilton is a scumbag. I thought Danny was a pool hustler back in the day?

"Scumbag" in Negreanu's Blog

Who is this unnamed scumbag from the recent blog entry.

"These guys are my friends, and I don’t need any friends that would try to “sandbag” me or try to hustle me. You do that, you’re a scumbag not a friend. There is one such scumbag in the poker world, but I won’t be naming names. He’s never beaten me for a penny, but I wouldn’t dare gamble with him, or even spend any time with him at all for that matter. A complete low life who’d cheat his own mother by telling her that he shoots 95 when he can actually shoot in the 70’s just to steal her money."

Any guess on who he's talking about?



It apparently is Russ Hamilton. Daniel indicates it in this thread.
So Whos The Bad Guy?

Here's an excellent find. Greg Raymers original post to RGP offering pieces of himself in the WSOP in 2002.
Looking for Backers

Gots to pimp this noble attempt at a Guinness Book of World Records per playing poker.

Poker World Record

Just in case anyone would be interested.

I'm bored since I don't have a job yet, so I'm attempting the world record for the Guinness Book of World Records for most consecutive hours playing poker. I have started a blog at:

Poker's Endurance World Record

For the record, the longest recorded poker session is Larry Olmsted at 72 hours at Foxwoods June 11-13, 2004.

There's been a running thread after some RGP retard ragged on Deadwood being an awful show. So now we are getting lots of posts like this. It's still a fine link for any no-limit tournament newbies out there.

Subject: Important for tournament players

If you are a beginning fucking tournament player, you should fucking read what Darse Billings has to fucking say about tournament fucking poker. Fucking read it. It will help your fucking tournament play. Darse's No-Limit Hold'em Tournament Primer

So hell, allow me a tangent. Ignore and scroll down for more poker.
I've been reading Maddox and Tucker Max for longer than I care to remember. Easily two of the funnier writers out there on this here Internet. And now that Maddox's book debuted at #4 on the NY Times bestseller list, Tucker Max wrote an excellent rant about the two of them and....

While masculinity is starting to slowly coming back into vogue, the fight is only beginning. The fact is, at this point in entertainment history, the 2nd Wave feminists are the gatekeepers of media. The women who grew up in the 60's are now in charge, and they quite literally run shit, and these 50-year-old women heading media companies have personal preferences that do not reflect many American attitudes. The fact is, people are hungry for someone to tell it like it actually is instead of how these people want it to be. They want men to act like men, but the old school doesn't get this yet. This is why people like Maddox and me had such a hard time getting published, and why we still have such a hard time getting mainstream media coverage, even though we have more monthly readers than almost any other entertainer in America, and more than most MAGAZINES. It's because we refused to bow before the PC gods and destroy our art to meet their ideological demands, we suffer.

Doors were shut in our faces, yet our books hit THEIR list, WITHOUT their help. They aren't in touch anymore, even forgetting the internet aspect of this discussion. Think about it: Could they pimp Ana Marie Cox (Wonkette) or Jessica Cutler (Washintonienne) anymore than they do? But their books FACEPLANTED. No sales. My book--by itself--has outsold both Wonkette and Washingtonienne...COMBINED. By a factor of three. And Maddox will outsell all of us put together. America is ready, America wants men who have the balls to stand up and be men, America is sick of being mothered and held down, and they are going to get it regardless of where it comes from.

Go hit Tucker's blog for the full on rant. I'm glad he won his last court case, as well.

He's got his detractors, but Tucker lists Confederacy of the Dunces as one of his all-time favorite novels. Nuff said, as far as I'm concerned.

As for Maddox, I still wear his vegetarian tshirt proudly.

Had fun reading Grindblog's writeup of winning the 2k event at Mandaly Bay. I've been reading his blog for a hella longtime now, especially when he moved to Thailand. Read his tale here:

This isn't as much an ethics question as it is an intelligence test. Cmon, you really think you could get away with this? I'd think not but DaVoice asked anyway. As always, consider the source.

Ethics question. What would you do?

You are a "platinum" player at a casino (regular, medium-high roller). You play in a free slot tourney and win $150. You take the ticket to the cage and the cashier mistakenly pays you $1500 instead of the $150 you are entitled to. The casino realizes the mistake and immediately begins paging you (within 2 minutes) and calls you at home (more than once a day for a few days). What do you do?

A. Keep the money and never go back to your favorite casino

B. Point out the mistake to the cashier immediately

C. Return the money when you realize later (for whatever reason) the mistake

D. Other, please explain.

This is a real life situation that happened this past week, and I'd really
like to know what you would all do.

Jason Strasser, Poker Prodigy..... so says Duke Magazine:

Quick question and answer from the poker peanut galleries out there.

Question about zeejustin

> In an interview, zeejustin claimed he is always nice and respectful toward
> everyone. I've been told by more than one person who played in sit and gos
> with him that he was rude and liked to use ghetto style trash talk. Who is
> telling the truth, I wonder? A known cheat or my 3 friends who have no
> reason to lie to me?


They say Hitlers dog loved him, too.

Some troll posted this. Along with the appropriate response.

I will be conducting a weekly poker tournament school online. It will take place every friday night at 8pm EST starting in June until the end of november. I will cover all the basics of tournament poker play and reveal pro level tips and advice. And ill also cover the complicated poker tournament strategies.

The cost of this course will be 60 dollars. Payable via pokerstars money(my account name is thezeejustin, send the money there, then send me an email to thezeejustin(at)hotmail.com with the account name you sent your money). The class will be held on pokerstars. with private sit and gos (with prizes) on a weekly basis. They will be after each lesson and will have a first place prize of 50 dollars!

I have been a very successful online tournament player. I have had many cashes in big online tournaments, including a recent second place finish in the party poker 200 dollar guarunteed!. I have a website (zeejustin.com), that chronicles all of my poker tournaments in a blog like format.

My poker course will guaruntee you success in tournaments. I 100% guaruntee you will see a vast improvement in your game or your money will be refunded.

Also, as and added bonus there will be an end of course 1000 dollar freeroll!

So what are you waiting for, sign up today to reserve your spot in the class! I can only have a max of 10 people sign up! If you have any questions, please fell free to email me (thezeejustin (At)hotmail.com


> So what are you waiting for, sign up today to reserve your spot in the
> class!

How many times can we sign up?

Awesome post by my favorite RGP poster, Howard Beale.

Don't chase the bad players away: A rant!

This is going to be a rant, plain and simple. It's not meant for the regulars here. If it stops one B&M noob lurker or if someone recognizes himself and adjusts his behavior, then all the better.

- - - - - - -


A player who I used to play against regularly (a spectaculary bad player) has recently returned after a few years absence. Maybe he's been around before but I haven't seen him. In a hand I still remember he made me stop raising top full house after 6 raises. I was sure he'd show me quads. Nope, he had bottom full.

The entire table gasped. This fellow plays 95% of his hands and almost all of them to the river. He will pay off with almost anything. His play is even worse than before (hard to imagine). He is not very old but he's getting up there and his play is so awful that I'm seriously wondering if his doctor has told him he's got 2 months to live. I'm not joking here. He doesn't play like there's no tomorrow, he plays like the world is going to end in 10 minutes.

And what happens? There's one other player (himself a big contributor to the game) who is asking to see this players' losing hand EVERY SINGLE SHOWDOWN! GD IT, EVERY SINGLE SHOWDOWN! Finally the old guy gets pissed and tells off the other guy and the other guy says: "WHY DON'T YOU ASK ME TO GO OUTSIDE?" I wish I was tough enough so I could've volunteered to go outside with him instead.

So the bad player leaves. The pots are immediately cut in half. Who knows if the old guy will come back?

In case you recognize yourself in the bad guy's role herein, IF YOU DO ANYTHING TO CHASE AWAY THE BAD PLAYER, STOP DOING IT, GD IT!!!!!


It has always blown my mind the number of people that beg for a live one then insult him until he leaves. It defies logic.

In the same vein.
BAD form here folks, BAD form.

Subject: Dumb comments and pissed players

Well, I let my mouth run away again last night (No surprise there!)

Playing $4/8 at casino Az last night. I'm up a couple of racks, and pick up KTs in the BB. 4 people call (Very loose passive table), I check.

Flop is KhTc5s. I bet, two callers, one raiser, I reraise, 1 caller original raiser calls, so we are down to three players. Raising player is getting low on chips.

Turn is the 6c. I check, original raiser bets, guy in middle calls, I raise (I just didn't think he had a set at that point), bettor reraises, guy in middle drops out, I call. About ~$95 in the pot.

River is 2d. I check, he bets 8 of his remaining 9 dollars. I think for a second, and tell him "I'll pay off your set", and call. He turns over 56 for two pair, I take the pot.

He gets irritated and starts ranting at me, and ends with "How can you call if you think I have the set??"

"Easy. For $8 and a pot of $100, I only have to win once every 12 times to be profitable."

He looks at me for a second and says "Huh? I don't get it?"

With my mouth on full automatic, I immediately replied "And that's why you're sitting there with one chip left".

Dealer almosts busts up, players start laughing, he leaves pissed off, and I immediately regretted what I said, since he was a great donator.

Anyone else ever run off someone like that by letting their mouth get ahead of their brain?


I'm already getting too toasted to address this myself, althought I fully agree with Greg. Who am I to disagree? I'll let Mr. Carson explain things.

Protecting your hand: A fictitious concept?

A quote from Greg Raymer:

Protecting your hand is a fictitious concept. The true concept when it comes to bet size is maximizing your expected return on the pot. You might wind up protecting your hand as a result of making the right play. But, you should never be thinking, "I need to protect my hand."

Agree or disagree?


from Gary Carson:

Thinking in terms of how much you have to bet to make everybody fold will lead you to making bad overbets. Thinking in terms of how much you have to bet so that you don't really care what they do will tend to lead you to bet sizes that maximize your EV.

And it doesn't matter whether it's a tournament or a cash game, in either case your goal is to get all the chips. How to compute EV differs between tournaments and cash games, the goal is not different.

I'm back to semi-listening to podcasts. Sure helps pass the time while traveling. David Sedaris live at Carnegie Hall was pretty damn funny. Thanks to Gracie & Maudie, my new favorite vblog is ZeFrank. I'm not quite sure how he is so damn clever every damn day. Check it out - it's always short and sweet.

Shannon Elizabeth appeared on CardPlayers' 'The Circuit'. I'm still listening to random past episodes. I found it worth listening to but your mileage may vary. She talks about her upcoming roles, and a bit about the Mandalay Bay event she is interviewed at. I kept waiting for her to bring up Bobby Bracelet to no avail.

Random gambling history factoid:
When the French in Canada were short of gold coins, they used the backs of playing cards as emergency money.

I'm sure most everyone has seen the three Full Tilt TV ads that apparently couldn't get on TV. Phil Ivey's made me shake my head.

This is one crazy ass website right here.
Long Bets

Here's an example of some of the wagers being conducted:

Know someone with a gambling problem? This guy might take the cake:

ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. -- After winning almost $315 million, it seems odd that Powerball winner Jack Whittaker would have money troubles. But a court case has revealed an addition to the long list of Whittaker's problems since his windfall: Caesars casino is suing him, claiming he wrote bad checks.

The Atlantic City casino, owned by Harrah's Entertainment Inc., contends Whittaker wrote 21 checks totaling $1.5 million that bounced during gambling trips in 2004.

Casino sues Whittaker for alleged bad checks

This next post inspired much debate. I hate these stupid "hot" threads.
Who gives a damn?

Who is the hottest of them all?












Did I forget anyone?

Let's post the rare insightful off-topic rgp post with a fine reply.

Subject: Serious question regarding value of domain name, advice sought

Hi all. There are some here whose opinions I respect, so I am throwing this out for some advice.

Years ago (10 years or more) I registered my full name as a domain name (.com). I also registered .net and .org. I still own those domains. I have used @.com as my main email address for years.

There is a famous symphony conductor who shares my name and has recently contacted me and asked me to "give" him my domain name. I told him that I will not give it to him, but would consider selling it to him. He responded that he didn't want to get into a lengthy negotiation, so I should just tell him how much I want and he will consider it.

So my question is, how do I go about figuring out the value of my domain name? I don't currently have a website up (I have in the past) but changing the email address would cause quite a bit of hardship. I really have no idea how to figure the worth of the domain name. This person is quite famous, and is director of a number of worldwide symphonies and operas. I imagine he can afford a significant amount, but want to come up with a reasonable offer.

Any help is appreciated.


Subject: Re: OT: Serious question regarding value of domain name, advice sought

In the purest sense, there is an absolute rule in negotiations. Never take the first offer. There is nothing wrong with making the first offer. The problem people have is "how" they phrase their negotiations.

End every sentence with a question mark. Ask questions, do not make statements.

Do not confuse your negotiation style with the person you are negotiating with. You have a style and he has a style. They may or may not be similar. You need to adjust your style. Don't take people literally. Ask questions, do not make statements. (Have I said that?)

He has said he does not want to negotiate. That is his opening statement. He has not made an offer, but he has asked you a question ... how much do you want for your domain name.

Do not answer questions; ask questions. You can say anything, but politely asked questions suggest that there is more to discuss. I would "discuss" with him what you are discussing with us. Offer feelings, say how you feel about the difficulties with deciding how much it is worth to you. (Remember, it is irrelevant what it is worth to you ... you are trying to learn what it is worth to him.)

I would not say anything about his wealth and importance. It would seem (to me) that you are trying to gouge him. Ask for his help in deciding. Ask for help in figuring out a fair price for both of you. You have never really thought about this before. What does he think about it? Would this domain name help him? Ask him? Does he have plans? Throw in some irrelevant stuff ... like would he consider forwarding any email that he got that looked like it was for you? That is silly, but might be an impasse breaker.

I facilitate a two day course for fortune 500 executives in collaborative negotiating ... it costs a lot of money to attend. My most important advice would be ... ask questions ... they are more than just words. Questions seek information and if phrased in a non threatening way, they will keep the negotiation moving forward. Don't get in a hurry ... it has been a long time ... it can wait.

I said at the beginning ... no one should accept a first offer. If you are a buyer and you ask a seller, what do you want for your domain name ... seller says 10k and you say "sold" ... the seller will hate the deal. He will "know" that he could have gotten more. If you are a seller (or have a domain for sale) and the buyer says, I'll give you 10k for your domain name and you say "sold" ... the buyer will hate the deal ... he will know that you would have taken less. This is pure psychology and has nothing to do with the value of the item. No one that says, just give me your bottom line and I'll consider it deserves a straight answer. It is just the beginning of the negotiation. Ask questions, don't make statements. Good luck.

I'm going to call this article FUCK EBAY. Unbeleivable.
eBay Invites Internet Regulation, Backs Online Gambling Ban

The funny thing is, even as eBay has joined Rep. Goodlatte's moral crusade against gambling, the company's overseas operations are moving into the gaming business. According to the gaming industry publication igamingnews.com, PayPal Europe has recently entered into agreements with two online gambling services to allow PayPal to be used by Europeans who want to gamble online.

Industry insiders estimate that as much as 4 percent of the U.S. population participates in online gambling. That's about 12 million people. It's likely that a good percentage of those 12 million active, online users also patronize eBay. I wonder what they'd think if they knew that eBay has called for them to be arrested and prosecuted?

Continuing the off-topic posts, this is my first ever topic suggestion to Tri Clops.

This was a huge freaking thread on RGP. 240 posts to date. I'm sure you can imagine the vitriol. Mo is a button-pusher but since I heard all about this issue on NPR, it seems worthy to pass along.

OT : Liberals Proclaim their Herculean Stupidity!


"A San Francisco suburb voted Tuesday night to use the power of eminent domain to keep Wal-Mart Stores Inc. off a piece of city land.

The overflow crowd that packed into the tiny Hercules City Hall cheered after the five-person City Council voted unanimously to use the unusual tactic to seize the 17 acres where Wal-Mart intended to build a shopping complex.

"The citizens have spoken. No to Wal-Mart," said Kofi Mensah, who has lived in Hercules for more than two decades and said he values the city's authentic feel."

bush wants to use phone records to stop terrorism within our borders, and the liberals scream bloody fucking murder. walmart buys a polluted MUNITIONS DUMP, cleans it, and attempts to build a store in the community, and the local liberals break out their sacred imminent domain HORSESHIT to seize the land from them. are you fucking kidding me? THIS is the country you want? THIS is what you're fighting for?



OK, OK, I admit I went digging for any signs of Gary Carson in the thread. I can't help it. Gary really went after the original poster.

one snippet:

You really are a very uninformed buffon. They apparantly didn't teach you how the world works at UofC and you certainly don't learn it by trading bonds. Get involved in underwriting revenue bonds and you might learn a little about how city governments actually work.

You have no idea what you're talking about. Have you even ever actually had a job?

Gary Carson

I was reading THG over at Res Ipsa when he mentioned the book, Skin City : Behind the Scenes of the Las Vegas Sex Industry, which I recently read over vacation. ($2.99 at my local used bookstore)

Bear in mind that the book was published in 2004. And consider these numbers per the strip clubs.


A little quick math indicates just how important strip clubs are in the overall economy of Las Vegas. A place like Jaguars employs well over 500 dancers on a given day. It is one of the larger clubs of 40 in Clark County.

If we estimate that the average number of dancers working for a club is 100, and those girls average $350 a day in tips, then $1.4 million in hard cold cash is slipped into g-strings in a single day. That equates to $430 million a year that's pumped, er bumped, into the economy.


Deadwood kicked off season three with 102 "fucks" in the first episode (1.96 fucks per minute), which brings the series total to 2032 "fucks" (1.50 fucks per minute). Check out this link for more Deadwood/fuck related data.

And speaking of my favorite internet writers, Heather Havrilesky, wrote an epic piece on HBO and Deadwood for Salon today. Fucking brilliant. She's long been one of my favorite online writers ever since she wrote insanely smart snark for suck.com. Anyone else remember that site besides me?

Anyway, go read Heather's treatise here:
I Like To Watch

Hopefully, that's a proper lead in for this next post. I already referenced the DeadWood style posts currently happening on RGP. I think this one was my favourite.

Subject: Does anyone want to discuss THE THEORY OF POKER by David Sklansky?

How fucking valuable would you fucking say that the Theory of Poker is to an amateur fucking player who will fucking only play micro fucking stakes his entire fucking life? I personally fucking think that a fucking amateur might fucking be better fucking served by fucking reading Small Stakes Hold Em instead.

The Theory of Poker, to me, seems to fucking be a treatise for those who fucking aspire to fucking be better fucking players, those who fucking might have fucking ambitions to maybe fucking play poker as a fucking profession some fucking day. In other fucking words, those fucking players who fucking really fucking want to fucking take their fucking game to the next fucking level. The fucking kid who fucking plays 25 fucking cent no limit on Party Poker is just going to fucking be confused by the Theory of Poker.

This is why I fucking feel the Theory of Poker should fucking not be the first fucking book an aspiring fucking poker player fucking reads. I used to fucking teach junior high English Lit so I am not a complete fucking dumbass, yet I fucking found that the Theory of Poker was, in some fucking parts, fucking beyond my level of fucking understanding when I first fucking read it. I fucking think a fucking person should fucking read a more basic fucking poker book first, then fucking play for about 6 fucking months, then fucking read the Theory of Poker.

For those of you who have fucking read the Theory of Poker, which is your favorite fucking chapter? Right off fucking hand, I would fucking have to fucking say that my favorite fucking chapter is probably the one on semi bluffing. I was fucking able to fucking apply the fucking technique of fucking semi bluffing to my fucking game and immediately fucking profit from it. Many fucking times, even when you are fucking
playing small stakes, you can fucking raise with a fucking flush draw and fucking win the fucking pot right then and fucking there.

One last fucking thing. Has anyone fucking read No Limit Hold 'em: Theory and Practice yet? That is fucking definitely next on my fucking reading list.

I'm not sure how to segue past that. How about a cartoon?

Bizarre accusation post here from Prahlad on 2+2. I don't even know what the hell he's talking about but when I discovered he was a rabid vegan, I discounted taking the time to figure it out. But that's just me. 19 pages of goodness for you here:
BrandonAdams caught riding dirty

Prahlad, just please tell me that you dont really speak this way in real life. You sound like a buffoon.

Oh my, this is taking forever to format and write-up. The bathroom breaks alone from the copious amount of Guinness I'm pounding is staggering. I sometimes read about folks who get to blog professionally and I throw up a little in my mouth. The LongTail, my ass.

Dear sweet Jeebus in heaven. Please send some common sense to our good friend, Dutch Boyd, and fast! Dutch is continuing his possibly unmedicated drive to become famous, this time by means of a reality TV show and the crew.

He's super stoked!

I am now happy to say that the production funds have been put together and a reality tv show based on "the crew" is now in the works. Footage is already being filmed, but the main production starts with all of the crewmembers living in a house in Vegas and starting the series. The official start date is June 27th.

I'm super stoked.

Read the inanity for yourself.
"We're on a mission from God."

Best line about this from the poker forums:

I hope there's an episode where Scott steals Dutch's pills and Gank's stash and tries to sell them for a stake.

I loved his final thoughts on RakeFree poker.
Holy shit, the sheer audacity....

I'm hoping to get some groundwork to finally get RakeFree.com live. The last issue of CardPlayer featuring Hayden Weir as the pioneer behind "Rake-Free online poker" really kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Why is it that they always try to copy my good ideas? At first I started looking at getting a trademark and suing his ass for infringement.

I'm not sure what "copying my good ideas" means, considering he fucked a lot of people over. I mean, in my humble mind I'm a swarthy lumberjack known as The Mighty Joe Penis, but I'm pretty sure that's not how I'll be introducing myself to the in-laws. But hey, whatever you say Dutch.

Here's the link for my 2004 post on the entire Russ Boyd and Pokerspot scam. Scroll past the preamble and into the meat.

But I DO know about Russ Boyd and Pokerspot and what happened there, from message boards and private emails. You can go read Dutch Boyd’s posts yourselves on the RGP archives where he promises 100% payback of money lost. He promises that there are NO financial problems with his site. He denies that he is having cash flow problems while still accepting players deposits. It’s all there, folks. I'd encourage you to verify this for yourself before passing any kind of judgement.

Ah well, what do I know? Here's the Wikipedia entry about Dutch Boyd, for whatever that's worth.

I've already gotten off-topic so many times in this post, what's one more gonna matter? Please imagine the bile in this thread. Try very hard, but you're still falling short.

Michael Berg

Michael Berg is an idiot of the highest order. It's a damn shame he wasn't kissing al-Zarqawi's ass when the bomb landed. His dead son deserved a better father.

Irish Mike

The voice of reason (such as it is), Gary Carson, perhaps summed things up best when responding to all the hatred on both sides:

I don't care what those who think it should be national policy to give purpose to their son's death say and I don't care what those who think there was no purpose to their son's death say.

Both are simply reacting out of some psychological defense mechinsism and aren't in close proximity to any kind of rational thought.

RGP isn't 10% as fun without Steve Badger or Paul Phillips around, damnit.

So allow me to leave you with one RGP nugget from the archives. I found this wonderful writing by Wayno about his story on how he began playing poker. Too bad he deserted RGP along with everyone else.


>>>What's your story? How did you start in poker?

oil spot in garage
summer day
playing for popsickle sticks
nearby park
picnic tables
more cards
9 year old low-lifes
Mom: "You're not playing for money, are you?
high school games
17 year old low-lifes
19 year old low-lifes
7 Days a week at the horserace track, 1 p.m. post time -
followed by all-night poker games
No sex
giant raid by the Dean Of Students + law enforcement
Everyone but me kicked out of my dorm - 26 guys- cause I was in the bathroom when the big raid happened.
Some sex- but not that much
More games
I defeat the college quarterback in a challenge match throwing oranges in a cup. $1,000 win. 14 crates of oranges ordered from nearby supermarket.
He defeats me later at night in a drinking contest when I tip over.
Wins half of it back.
Different college
Animal House
All night poker games
Visits from postal inspectors 7 days a week
Eventually asked to leave college due to some technicality involving..."grades"
Happy home life - no sex.
Game on Polish ocean liner heading to Europe
Polish boxer threatens to kill me- says I have "a big mouth" - tears up deck
25 year old low-lifes
Race track at Autueil outside of Paris
Casino in Nice
World Chess Championship in Nice, France.
Stands directly behind Boris Spassky and watches him play.
Makes several remarks about Boris's hair and his Russian suit.
A number of spectators start laughing.
Escorted to the door by security.
Some sex- but not much
Return to America
Home games
Tavern games
Riverboat games
Mom: "You're not playing for money, are you?"
Takes gift cheese box on board riverboat for a friend,
Trapper Tom. Accused of trying to bring a bomb on board. Cheese-box frisked.
32 year old low-lifes
Dupes publisher into publishing several woozy books.
Celebrates by floor-draining a case of Miller High Life at a local tavern.
Gives away 75 copies of book free to anyone who wants one.
Signs every copy "To my best friend"
Reprimanded by publisher.
Mom: "Are they paying you any money for this?"
Tavern home game scheduled same night as Sheriff's Christmas Party.
Tells Sheriff "we're playing for matchsticks".
Game broken up.
Big loss in Australian horse-track "incident".
Some sex- not too much.
Paradise Poker.
No sex at all.
Renewed interest in game.
Depressed- considers quitting game
Lee Munzer watches my game, shakes his head, begs me to reconsider.
Says poker "needs me".
Tunica. Gold Strike.
Meets Gary Phillips for the first time.
Nexr day, meets Gary for the second time
Then meets him for the third time (the following day)
Discovers he's there every day and stops keeping track.
Tuesday Night Home Game.
Only game in the country with an "injury list".
Most commonly heard expression: "Player down".
52 year old low-lifes.
Visit from my 80 year old mother at home while in the middle of playing poker on-line.

"You're not playing for money, are you?" she asks.

=======================END WAYNO============================

Weee - another uber post in the books. Good for me.

Thanks for reading and don't forget about Bonus Code IGGY on Party Poker, damnit!

Link of the Day:
Adopt a Clitoris

The “ClitorAid” program launched by RAEL, spiritual leader of the Raelian UFO/Sex Cult, has motives which could be sincere. What they need is a spokeperson a la Sally Struthers.

Charlie Sheen surrounded by dusty, fly-bespotted Clitori on late night TV might just do the trick.

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Information on this site is intended for news and entertainment purposes only.

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