Party Poker Blog

"We play Minnesota Hold Em. It's catch and release.
We give everyone their money back at the end of the evening."
Garrison Keiler

Thanks for stopping by.
If you like poker, you've come to the right place.
If you don't like poker, this blog will be like reading Latin.

Let's uber it up, shall we?
I'm not Guinness-fueled yet, but will be by the end of this post.
Guaranteed.

Speaking of - this post brought to you by Bonus Code IGGY on Party Poker.
Stop taking the poker short bus.

Hope everyone had as much as fun as I did playing in Wil & Pauly's tourneys this weekend. Congrats to Geek&Proud for winning Wil's, SirWaffle for winning Pauly's and CJ & EV for winning the blogger shoot-out. And yup, the vicious rumours are true, I finished second in Wil's tourney. I built a giant stack through conservative play and then I went whacky at the final table, which was fun as hell. There's a lot of joy for a grinder like me to be a maniac in that situation.

Might as well quote the master of ceremonies himself, Mr. Wheaton, especially since he live blogged the event at CardSquad.

--

7:30 PM - Iggy just dropped 73 vs. maureen's AJ, and doubled up with two pair on the flop! One hand later, they got it all in again with Iggy's 55 vs. maureen's JJ. No shit, Iggy flopped a set of fives. Presto! One hand later, Iggy eliminated heffmike. Fucking unreal.

--

Suckouts Galore.
That actually might make for a nice name in a James Bond novel.
But I hope everyone enjoyed the action-packed final table.

Thanks to everyone who plays in these events. It's always a damn great time.

Anyone else getting psyched for the Vegas Gathering? It's only a month away.
I thought the Google map that Mr. Rini created for us to show where we're all coming from is pretty cool. If you're coming, make sure to add yourself.

Gracie graciously gave me permission to post this photo that I took with her camera during our last get-together. She reminded me that because of my diminutive size, I was actually standing on a chair to take this picture, hence this great crew all laughing at me. I'm pretty sure we were playing HORSE at the Plaza but I was drunk then and I'm getting drunk now, so I'm likely wrong. The photo is chopped in half so it fits.






Alrighty then, let's rock and roll.

I've pimped this new poker blog before, but damn, he's officially moving to Thailand to live cheap on the beach and play internet poker. Good God, that sounds fun. I asked my wife if I could join them and she laughed in my face.
Grind blog.

SNG pro's. Interesting. I'm officially getting off the grind, starting now. The recent online poker room developments and a re-evaluation of my bankroll is allowing me to shift my perspective. I've survived as a grinder for a year. I'll wax poetic about this in a future post, but suffice to say, I'm finally ready to shift my focus to something else - multi-table tourneys and perhaps SNG's. Even if this doesn't stick, I'm taking a break from limit grinding. Sadly, I'm woefully ignorant of what tournaments are when and where and best overlay, et al. I'm prepared to grovel for someone's info (or excel spreadsheet) on this. Feel free to help - I'm clueless here.

I'm lucky that I've been able to grow my bankroll, like an ever-ripening investment in the condom market, to the point where I can take stock of my next poker goals. I'm utterly burnt on grinding right now. Crispy fried. Funny, I thought I knew how hard poker was gonna be, but I truly didn't.

Let's move along, shall we?

I'm ashamed to admit this, but I have an unholy fascination with watching people tilt or steam. I'm a people-watcher, anyway, so it probably stems from that, but geepers, is there anything more disconcerting than watching someone internally implode at the poker table? And it's only at the poker table that I enjoy watching a full-blown vulgar Tilt. Not so funny in the Real world.

And so Howard made me wonder if I need address this.

Subject: I rarely tilt, but............

I confess to being subject to two evil emotion/attitudes: Jealousy and chadenfreude. If I see someone piling up the chips with the same exact hands that I am losing with I get jealous. I know that sooner or later it will all work out for me, too, but I get jealous just the same.

Watching a player get his *just deserts*, losing all his winnings (that he had gotten from suck-out after suck-out) and then going deep into his pocket is so delicious to me that I can't apologize for it. If he moans a lot, wonders what is going on, it's even better. I hide it but I can't resist in indulging. I am so perverse that I encourage and justify the bad play while rolicking inwardly. This has got to be unworthy on many levels but I can't help it.

I think these are the last two things that I have to defeat in order to achieve the level of equanimity that I am seeking but they are going to be tough to overcome.

Howard Beale

Let's delve into this new twist on the Online Poker is Rigged argument.
Still no proof, of course. No analysis, no database of hand histories...
I love reading these guys:

Subject: ONLINE POKER IS RIGGED?
Author: someone@microsoft.com

Do you realize how lucky we are?

Mankind has been plagued with dishonesty and evil. Every nation, race, and industry has a criminal element, dishonest people who seek to swindle others out of their wealth.

Gambling has an equally sordid history tainted by organized crime and murder.

Yet, in our times and right in our mist, we have the piousness of online poker!

These off shore, unregulated operations have no dishonesty! They are of pure heart, Chivilrous Knights of a time long forgotten! Biblical examples just out of reach of our strongest personal aspirations!

How do we know?

Because their idiotic minions tell us that online poker is completely honest!

Let's face a certain fact: if online poker lacks dishonest businesses that are not rigged, it would be the ONLY INDUSTRY IN THE HISTORY OF THE MANKIND to be absent of dishonesty or crime.

Here's a clue, that's bullshit.

When hundreds of millions of dollars, no, when billions of revenue are in play, and when the means are so readily available, there is going to be dishonesty. The analytics are there, and it is a certainty that some site, if not many, have every player profiled as to their habits and how to maximize the profit from the relationship. And if that means an occaisional tweak of the cards, its done.

This does not change the fact that the vast majority of moaining rigged claims are idiotic.

But here is a simple challenge. Imagine your child, your spouse, your most precious loved one. A gun is at their head. Make the decision, is online poker 100% legit, or are there rigged sites. Answer wrong, your loved one is dead.

Almost everyone is going to side with world history... yes, there are bad apples in the cart.

And thus, in fact, "online poker is rigged" may not be a universal truth, but it is certainly TRUE.

DUH!

This guy really needs an Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie.
And don't forget, shiny side out!

Most folks have long past given up trying to explain logic to these deluded fools, myself included. But I always enjoy it when someone tries. To whit:

> Let's face a certain fact: if online poker lacks dishonest businesses that
> are not rigged, it would be the ONLY INDUSTRY IN THE HISTORY OF THE MANKIND
> to be absent of dishonesty or crime.


I'll give you an honest reply, even if I don't think you deserve it.

Let's say we all accept your statement that no industry in the history of mankind has been completely free from corruption or dishonesty. The logical flaw in your argument is that BECAUSE the online poker industry has dishonesty/corruption (we accept this) then online poker must be "rigged" against the player.

"Rigging" the game against the player or in favor of the house is only ONE example of how an online poker room could be dishonest or corrupt. Just because I accept that there is corruption in the golf equipment business, doesn't mean that I can rightly accuse them of murdering rivals (or any other particular crime).

Online poker rooms could engage in intellectual property theft, evasion of taxes, denial-of-service attacks against other sites, etc, etc. Many people are convinced that fleecing their customers is NOT the way to grow/maintain their profitable business. Your "air-tight" argument is nothing.

God.. why did I even bother.

Later on, I discovered this sweetly retarded viewpoint, but because it was a gigantic thread, I'm posting it.

Subject: I'm bored therefore i posit this theory

People who believe online poker is rigged are the same people who believe in astrology, are the same people that believe things happen for a reason, are the same people who believe god has a plan for them, are the same people who believe in id or that evolution is hierarchical. Discuss or ignore. thank you.

And finally, my personal favorite online poker is rigged post from the last week:

Subject: Party Poker is not rigged BUT...

I know a guy who works for Party Poker so I asked him straight up if he knew if it was rigged like so many conspiracy people claim. He says no, it is definitely not rigged.

But he says that the random number generator has been tweaked IN THE HOPES that the skill players can't completely dominate the majority of unskilled players who rely solely on luck. It is just an attempt to level the playing field. He said they can't assure this, but they are constantly adjusting the RNG. It's not an exact science, in other words. The results will always be random, no matter what they do. So I think it is safe for all the conspiracy people to take their tin foil hats off now. Read these words carefully: PARTY POKER IS NOT RIGGED. Repeat as necessary.

---

WOW that's a load off my mind. So it's not rigged - they just mess with the RNG to help out the losing players?
A W E S O M E !!!

Lordy, let's stop posting that crap, shall we?
Agreed.

For any of you, like me, with a nice chunk of change stuck in various online poker accounts, here's a word of warning. Better to be honest with your spouse than to lose money in case of tragedy.

Morbid Question

I almost got ran over by some stupid Phi Mu chick driving some huge SUV talking on a cell phone yesterday, and it got me to thinking: I have a small fortune (to most people, not high stakes 2+2'ers) sitting on various internet poker sites. Noone knows my passwords or how to access this money aside from me; what would happen to this money should I meet an untimely demise? Anyone thought about setting up some sort of a "will" with instructions on how to retrieve this money for their loved ones? How willing would off-shore gaming sites be willing to work with my family should they not have access to something like this?

Sorry if this doesn't belong here it was just on my mind...

Sigh, but allow me to share with you, gentle reader, what I go through to pluck those rare gems out of RGP.

99% of the threads I read generally go like this. Freak is asking the original poster why he thinks online poker is rigged. Enjoy.

Author: FreakPoker

it's not the fact that they can't control the outcome, it's the fact that they are trying to in the first place.

Okay, let's say you and I are playing live. On every deal I try to look at your cards. Maybe I see them once out of thirty deals. At the end of a session that's a pretty good advantage I've got myself. Would you consider this cheating? Or would you not consider it cheating because I'm not controlling the outcome and I'm not always successful at seeing your cards?


----


Author: Poker Cunt

dude, party poker rocks. have you seen their commercials? they are awesome.

---


Author: FreakPoker

Judging from you not answering my question I'll take that as a sign of you knowing what bullshit this would be if it were true.

----

Author: Poker Cunt

"FreakPoker" <43082258@recpoker.com> wrote in message
> Judging from you not answering my question I'll take that as a sign of you
> knowing what bullshit this would be if it were true.


i'm sorry. what was your question?

---

Author: FreakPoker (43082258@recpoker.com)

Here's some cut and paste for you:

Okay, let's say you and I are playing live. On every deal I try to look at your cards. Maybe I see them once out of thirty deals. At the end of a session that's a pretty good advantage I've got myself. Would you consider this cheating? Or would you not consider it cheating because I'm not controlling the outcome and I'm not always successful at seeing your cards?

---

Author: Poker Cunt

i like to rub my clitty when i play poker.

Pretty typical. And I won't even touch on the abortion thread. Pure ugliness.
Yes, it's a thankless job here at G&P.

Doh, I've been remiss in forgetting to link to Otis's fine CardPlayer article about the Pokerstars 2005 World Championship Of Online Poker.

New article from the esteemed Ed Miller at 2+2 about the IRS and poker. Excellent advice.
The Audits Are Coming

Here's an interview with Wil Wheaton about blogging over at Forbes magazine. I'm mostly bringing it up so I can off-handedly mention that I helped build Steve Forbes presidential website back in the day. Yeah, that was time well-spent.

It remains to be seen if Party Poker will buy Empire Poker. From The Times:
Decline and fall of a poker Empire

Ever wondered about the meanings of playing cards?
Here's what I discovered - I can't validate the veracity, but here's the playing cards and their historical personage.

King of Hearts - Charlemagne
Queen of Hearts - Judith (of the Book of Judith, an Apocryphal Book of the Bible)
Jack of Hearts - "La Hire," a famous French warrior a.k.a. Etienne de Vignoles
King of Spades - King David
Queen of Spades - Pallas, a.k.a. Minerva
Jack of Spades - Hogier the Dane, one of Charlemagne's paladins
King of Diamonds - Julius Caesar
Queen of Diamonds - Rachel (of the Bible)
Jack of Diamonds - Hector of Troy
King of Clubs - Alexander the Great
Queen of Clubs - Argine - An anagram of Regina
Jack of Clubs - Lancelot




Want to read a car wreck? From the fine folks at 2+2:
My life as a compulsive gambler

It's no big secret that I'm a fan of Daniel N. He just finished filming a new poker TV show where poker pro's come to the table armed with their own bankroll. Make sure to read:
High Stakes Poker: Day One
High Stakes Poker: Day Two
High Stakes Poker: Final Day

Continuing the Negreanu theme, here's a question with a followup from Daniel himself.

Subject: Who was Daniel N. talking about?

So, in Daniel Negreanu's blog he makes a comment about some player making a horrible play. I was just wondering if anyone knows who he is talking about?

Here is what he said:

"Frankly, the players I was playing against played the Stud 8 or better, Omaha H/L, and 2-7 triple draw games rather poorly. I saw a play in the Omaha that all but blew my mind!

There was a raise under the gun, a call in second position, a call from the button, and a call from the big blind. The flop came Q-10-6 rainbow and it got checked around to the button.

The button bet, and the big blind check raised, with the initial raiser and the button calling.

The turn came a 5 and there was a bet by the button and two calls. The river came an ace and it was checked around.

The button turned over Queens and Tens, the original raiser showed aces and sixes, and the check raiser from the big blind showed... J J 7 3 Badugi! (Badugi
meaning all four cards were different suits)

Since the play was that horrendous, I would feel uncomfortable telling you who made it. One thing for sure, is that y'all would be shocked. Shocked I tell you!"

Daniel's been narrowing it down via polls in the forum portion of his site. Go read his post in his forums. It's been trimmed down to Chau Giang, Eli Elezra, Barry Greenstein, David Benyamine or Daniel Negreanu.
Who made the following play?

Of course, someone on RGP had to give Dan shit and Gary Carson gives his two cents and clarifies his position on Daniel.

> danny really is an insecure asshole if he's doing childish shit like
> this....which apparently he is so maybe i should have just said danny is
> an insecure asshole.


You're just jealous.

You'd be insecure too if your new wife insisted on keeping her old
apartment near her mother half way across the country.



> I guess you're new to the concept of "sarcasm". Carson hates Negreanu.


That's nonsense.

I get a kick out of him. I have no reason to hate him and I don't hate him and I've never done anything to harm him.

I don't think he's very bright, but that's why he's so funny.

This idea that I dislike Danny or hate Danny or am jealous of Danny is just nonsense. I get a huge kick out of him.

I don't, however get a kick out of anticipating his future. I don't think his long term prospects are very good and I do feel bad for him about that.

The jealous thing was a joke though.

Gary Carson

Of course, the original poster came clean with why his opinion doesn't mean much in the annals of RGP history.

Subject: My RGP Legacy
Author: ChrisBrown

Years from now, RGPers will remember:

Andy Morton for Morton's theorem
Abdul Jalib for his various loose game hold'em writing
Steve Badger for his posts and website on Omaha
Gary carson for his wit, statistical knowledge, sklansky-muth feuds and
his book
Jerrod and Chen for their "0, 1" posts
Tom Weideman for his "Confessions of a Math Guy" posts
Peg Smith for ""

ChrisBrown for making a post and including a diagram on how to strategically fold toilet paper so that one can wipe their ass properly:

http://tinyurl.com/8p529

I'll say it again. I'm going to be remembered as the guy with detailed instructions on how to prepare to wipe your ass. What's even worse, is that it may become known as "The Brown Shit Theory."

For some reason I don't think my mother would be proud.

I've read many strange TuckerMax stories, but his latest....

Nice column by Ray Cooke about becoming a pro poker player.
Live the Dream as a Poker Pro

If you like that, you'll love this rant, comment and further perspective:

-----

Subject: Your probably not a pro -- Message to the young bucks wasting their lives (please read)......
Author: KKsuited


This topic came up yesterday regarding trying to make a living playing poker.
My advice, get a job.

There are plenty of players who can make a living playing poker. The Grinders, Gigabets, Ganks, and GambleAB's of the world, those guys obviously can play some cards. They can support themselves playing poker.

To the internet college drop out grinders, please go get an education and a job. Trying to grind out a few hundred dollars a week to live on is no way to live. If you've been playing for 3 years, 50-100 hours a week, and don't have a significant bankroll, you're not very good. I don't give a rat's ass how well you did in that one tournament on Pokerstars or whatever, a fact is a fact.

Many very good players in the Pro poker world are broke. Many goofballs look at that as justification why themselves being broke is no big deal. Maybe now I'm seeing why these kids aren't in college. That's the logic of a baboon.

I am a winning player. I make money playing poker. Do I have a huge bankroll? No, but I do have a master's degree that allows me to play poker just about whenever I want to.

Most of these college kids are going to look back when they're 28-29 years old and realize what idiots they were. Here they are, no 401(k), no degree, no family life, no house, no money in the bank, nothing but a wasted f'ing 10 years of their lives. What a said story.

Poker is just a temporary excuse for their lazy asses not to have to go to school or have a real job. Well, goodluck to you in 5 or 6 years when you don't have jack to show for it.

Seriously, get a job and play poker on the weekends. When you start making enough to support yourself, then play fulltime if you are so lucky. I don't understand why that's so hard to understand.

Think about how many goofballs were writing Blog's about their "pro poker careers". How many of them are still left?

Goodluck in whatever you do.

----

> he's trying to prove that he's a self-righteous pontificating piece of
> baboon shit.

-----

Yeah, recommending that young people get an education and provide themselves with the best chance of being able to provide for themselves. That evil bastard.

Have I ever mentioned that Linda at Table Tango was my original inspiration behind the Destroying Workplace Productivity motiff? Damn, I killed some serious time in her blog. Her info about the Big Game always blew me away and was the only serious source of info on the web back then.

What Big Game? Read this article at CardPlayer and then buy the damn book. It's absolutely fascinating. I hope Andy Beal challenges them again, damnit.
Biggest Poker Game in Vegas History

Anyway, there's lots of new articles at the new CardPlayer.

I love these rambling, tangential posts. One of these days, I swear I'll write tight little posts.

This post made me think cause this is how I played at Wil's final table.

Subject: Should You Ever Call a Blind "All In" Bet?

I observed both an amusing (and at the same time sickening) event the other night. While waiting for the "Shuffle Up and Deal!" call from the TD in a local [free roll] bar tournament, two players at my table spontaneously began taunting each other. The first one, whom I'll call "Crazy Idiot," challenged another player to go all-in "blind" on the first hand - neither would look at their hole cards until the river
card had been turned up.

Initially, the "other guy" agreed, but when it was his turn to act, he tossed his cards in the muck declaring, "I was just joking!" The next player to act, who was on the button, brought it in for a 50 chip bet. Everybody folded except "Crazy Idiot" who declared that he was all-in. The interesting thing about this is that "Crazy" had still not looked at his hole cards - he had gone "all in" blind!

So it's back around to the button who asks "Crazy" if he's serious? "Crazy Idiot" immediately responds "I'm all in!" The button looks at his cards - a KQ offsuit - and calls.

Of course, you can guess what happened next ... "Crazy Idiot" turns over his hole cards - the 4 and 2 of spades. (Hey, at least they were suited!) The flop comes 8-2-2 rainbow. When no paint comes on the turn or river, Crazy Idiot has managed to double up on the first hand! He followed this feat by busting out me (and another guy) in the first five minutes of play.

I looked in a book on starting hand probabilities. The odds for a 4-2 suited starting hand winning the pot were one-half of one percent! (The odds heads-up for KQ unsuited were a little better - 39.2 percent.)

Later on I had an opportunity to discuss the "blind" all-in bet with the guy who had called with KQ offsuit. He was very philosophical about the whole thing when I informed him of the odds that "Crazy Idiot" had beat. He stated that he shouldn't have called - regardless of what hand "Crazy" did [or did not] have. I told him that I would have done exactly what he had done, (i.e. called with KQ offsuit against a "blind" all-in bet), and that I would "call" every time given the same circumstances.

I've been thinking about this some more since then. Have any of you seen this kind of idiocy in an actual "real money" tournament - where some joker goes all-in "blind" - without even bothering to look at his hole cards? I would think that a player who does this kind of thing repeatedly will be busted out, oh, about 99 percent of the time!?! Am I right or wrong on this?

Alan

Here's another sign that poker has jumped the shark.
Check out the plot outline in the IMDB link below:
Casino Royale

And because I'm a movie junkie, I feel compelled to share this RGP movie post:

The best poker movies:
Rounders
California Split
The Cincinnati Kid
A Big Hand For The Little Lady
Mr. Cory

The Best Movies About Cheating and Scamming at Poker
House Of Games
The Sting
Kaleidoscope


Best TV Shows About Poker
Maverick
Shannon's Deal

Weirdest Movie About Poker
The Music Of Chance

Best Poker Scenes in Otherwise Unrelated Films
My Little Chickadee
"Is this a game of chance?"
"Not the way I play it."

Stripes
John Candy teaching a fellow recruit how to play

Wyatt Earp
Dennis Quaid as Doc Holliday


Best Home Games
The Odd Couple
Sleep With Me
Sink or Swin (aka Hacks)

Best Movies About Gambling
The Gambler
The Hustler
Let It Ride
Les Tricheurs (The Cheats - French)
Jinxed
Hard Eight
Guys And Dolls
Eight Men Out
The Flamingo Kid (gin)
The Runner
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Honourable Mention:
The Colour of Money -- not nearly as good as the Hustler, but for the
great scene where Forrest Whittaker ("Do you think I should
lose some weight?) hustles Paul Newman.

Great Gambling/Casino Scenes in non-Gambling Movies
A Bronx Tale (alley craps)
Going In Style (casino craps)
Lost In America (compulsive gambling - roulette at the desert inn)

Best Las Vegas Atmosphere
Casino

Most Interesting Non-Gambling Film With Gambling Applications
Searching For Bobby Fischer

Did anyone else see that this 2004 WSOP bracelet didn't meet the minimum bid on eBay? In fact, the top bid was only $777. The notes say, "inherited it from a relative who won it in 2004." Hrrm.
BINIONS WORLD SERIES OF POKER GOLD BRACELET - 2004

The merits of buying a WSOP bracelet was discussed on RGP -

> better question, why would anyone want to buy one?

I agree lass. What would you do with a WSOP bracelet that you didn't win?

I mean, Phil Helmuth is the most desperate person on the planet to get a 10th WSOP bracelet and even he wouldn't buy it. Of course there's always Dutch Boyd - he never seemed to have any trouble taking things that belong to other people.

Funny, but I just realized this weekend that hangovers are caused by an absence of alcohol and are easily remedied.

Time to wrap this up or I'll be sitting here till dawn.
Like that's never happened before.

Let's leave you with two idiots who think it's cool to breach etiquette at the poker table. Posts and a reply or two.



Massive thread and massive flames, especially by Tanya, bless her. This first guy just refused to admit he was wrong after multiple old-timers tried to explain things to him.

Subject: What is so wrong about getting excited after winning a key hand?

A guy I knocked out at the Taj USPC event last night was very miffed when my presto (55) rivered a straight against his cowboys (KK) and I got a little excited about it (fist pump, slap of hands, a little 'wooh').

Then after I bust 17th I'm in the room watching ESPN and this blob of a guy named Lars is bitching about it too.

As long as I'm not doing cartwheels or downright berating/belittling my opponent, what in the hell is so wrong about getting excited/celebrating? Watch any football game, a guy makes a big hit, or hell, even a tackle for no gain and they go apeshit. And they are supposed to be professionals. We're just gamblers looking to take other people's money.

// end of rant.

-


response


Mal247 you are a persistent fellow. Here you have a group full of experienced players telling you not to do what you did, and why, and you won't accept it. Not only that, you're the one who brought it up! If you won't accept other people's opinions why did you ask? You could at least say you'll think about it. I'm going to give you some credit and attribute your stubbornnes to your personal belief, inarticulately expressed, that you didn't mean the other player any harm and that your celebration was not meant to do so.

-----


I'll try my hand at telling you what you did wrong.

You are the fellow dining with a group who eats with his hands, belches loudly and wipes his mouth with the back of his arm. You're enjoying your dinner but are disgusting to everyone else present who happen to have manners. You are embarrassing to yourself, totally unaware, and are a discomfort to your neighbors. Someone brings you aside and points out what you've done and your answer is that you will enjoy your food your way.

I don't think it's unsafe to say that the responders above wouldn't consider you fit company.

Poetry in motion with the latter. Well played.

And one last asshole to close out this awful post. I'm just happy to pound out a post and give you an excuse to be unproductive on a Monday.

That's why I'm here, damnit.

Subject: Banned for slowrolling on-line??
Author: FaceDownAcesUp

Final table of a 10$ MTT last night on PS. I pick up Queens in the BB, some newbert on the button raises, SB folds and I just call.

The two of us see a flop.

Flop is Q 2 6 rainbow.

I make a small bet, donk calls.

Turn is a J.

I bet, donkey raises. At this point I'm almost certain that the fish has AJ or even better, JJ.

I just smooth call not wanting to spook my cash cow and get him out of the hand. I've got some milking to do.

River is a meaningless 7 , there are no flushes or straights on the board. I hold the immortal nuts. I make a sweet little value bet, oh so subtle and oh so tempting

Donkey immediately re-raises me all-in.

I laugh to myself and wonder if people are just stupid or if this type of bad play is due to lack of poker experience.

I decide it's both.

But before I click the call button I think why not make this fish sweat it out. Not because he did anything to me in the past, but just because he is one of those annoying douches who has a picture of his goofy looking wife and kids as his avatar. He is also one of those jokers that thinks it's social hour at the table. Every hand is "nh, well played, yada yada yada," no matter if he wins or loses. I hate fake
people like this with a passion.

Up to this point I'd been talking a good game all throughout the tourney. I made sure everyone knew how much they sucked and how lucky they were to even be at the final table, so there was definitely no shortage of jealous haters around me.

As my timer is running down I click the button for an extra 60 seconds.


Recreated Chatlog

Hater 1: zzzzzzzzzz

FaceDownAcesUp: Wow, u must have the nuts if you re-raised me on the
river?

Donk: Hehe, I like my hand.

FaceDownAcesUp: wtf does that mean? a good hand to a moron like you
could be ace high.

Hater 2: call him then u fukin *

25 seconds left.......

FaceDownAcesUp: I think I'm gonna lay this down and pick a better spot.

Hater 1: AHAHAHAH pu$$ie!!

Hater 2: Nice job poker god.

10 seconds left.........

FaceDownAcesUp: Do you get it yet , stupid?

FaceDownAcesUp: Do you realize what is about to happen?

5 seconds left.............

FaceDownAcesUp: You're done here.


I call and he sees the William's sisters, two big beatiful black queens staring him right in the face.

And of course he had 2 jacks. I don't think I have ever met a donkey that could lay down a set with no flush, no straight on the board. That's what makes them donkies and that's why I love them.

Immediately some railbird tells me that he is reporting me for harrassment and slowrolling. 2 of the haters jump on the bandwagon and say they are going to email support and report me as well. I laugh and tell the railbird to go ahead. Then he starts going into this rant about how sorry I will be and that I should read up on the rules before I laugh.

Is it possible to be banned for talking trash and slowrolling people online? I never used profanity or anything like that, so I think I am ok. But this railbird seemed so confident that it made me wonder. Has this ever happened to anyone in the past?

--


Your post only shows that you're an immature asshole. Stick to computer games bucko and avoid the risk of physical injury.

Irish Mike

Thanks a ton for reading.

Refill.


Link of the Day:
Overcome Your Happy Childhood
Nothing brings people closer to you than a near death experience, according to the tragineers at By-Accident.Com. "Achieve the attention you deserve ... create a new dramatic past."