Thursday, April 20, 2006
Oh my. As a Little Person myself, I'm pretty taken aback by this wiki entry about midgets.
Midget is the preferred nomenclature of the vertically challenged. Referring to them as anything else will earn you great enmity with the midget community, ensuring a lack of good porn on your computer.
Midget culture is almost entirely made up of costume parties, alcoholism, drug addiction and depression. No one hates themselves more than a midget does. They prefer only to come out at night, scurrying beneath the mundane's feet throughout the day as they make their way from porn studio to porn studio.
Every midget knows at least three famous midgets: if you meet a midget, a good way to break the ice is to ask which famous midgets he or she has met at midget conventions.
Midgets have played an important role in American cinematography, serving as the butt of all jokes and ensuring adequate box office revenues for otherwise shitty movies. The Great Midget Uprising of '57 was put down by Dwight "Ike" Eishenhower with the famous line, I'll stop laughing at midgets when midgets stop being so damned funny.
The porn industry owes at least 75 percent of its yearly revenue to the hard work and dedication of the midget community. It is also believed famous midget, Wee-man, saved MTV from almost certain bankruptcy after appearing on Jackass and allowing himself to be shot out of various canons and slings. Construction of a memorial to his sacrifices is currently underway in Washington, D.C.
Midgets suffer from a physical condition called cancer, as their hands are often bigger than their faces. Their torsos are hilariously longer than their legs, which provides comedy gold in running sequences as they can kick themselves in the head. They always smell of cabbage and have large penises, especially the females.
* The Dwarf Tossing Ban Act, 2003 Canada's fault
Me, after yesterday's session at the boat
All Content Copyright Iggy 2003-2007
Information on this site is intended for news and entertainment purposes only.
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