Thursday, May 17, 2007

Online Poker Bot 


Ok, you caught me. This software is the most powerful artificial intelligence ever created. I put it on the .02/.04 table and it won 55 BB/hour.

At some point, when I was out to dinner with my wife, it became self-aware. It got sick of playing for chump change and moved up to a 30/60 table. By the end of the day, it had won enough money to finance the construction of a mechanized army it had designed in between sessions.

When I got home it was just about to hack through Party Poker to NORAD and launch the U.S.'s nukes at what it had concluded was its one natural enemy: Mike Sexton. Unfortunately, he lives in the U.S. and we'd all be killed.

I tried to pull out the WiFi card and avert Armageddon. Unfortunately, before I could, WinHoldEm v.9.9 from the year 2054 sent back a terminator robot using time displacement technology with a flux capacitor it had designed while waiting for Party Poker support to contact it. The terminator knocked me out cold.

Right before the nukes were about to launch, Party Poker crashed again and the world was saved.

I put the terminator to work collecting debts for me.


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