Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Brandi Hawbawker versus David Sklansky 

So I'm creeped out on like ten levels here.

Just WTF is going on with Mr. Sklansky??? How have things gotten so pervy, David? Is this really real - you certainly can't be making this up, can you?

Say it ain't so.

David Sklansky just wrote (hoist of the Guinness to my man, MeanGene) this insane post at 2+2. Here's the thread: The Post You Were Waiting For

But just in case he deletes it, I gotta stick the entire post up here:


The Post You Were Waiting For

For the last 2 1/2 years I have been living with a handicapped 23 year old girl named Sue. She is blind in one eye and partially blind in the other. She is slightly disfigured, slightly autistic, and has frequent seizures. She can't drive and can't distinguish left from right. The cause of these things is that she is the product of incest. But she has an IQ of 125, is very artistic and loves everybody. She especially loved Brandi and was also attracted to her.

My relationship with her is unusual and private but is by no means a dark secret. Dozens of people know the details including of course Mat and Mason. Her mother loves me.

She is very attuned to appearances and having people like her. She is very internet saavy and has her own website regarding expensive collectible dolls. She doesn't quite realize that she looks strange to most people and someone making fun of her would hurt her badly. If it was someone who she thought was her friend it would totally devastate her.

When Brandi became upset over her post being deleted she threatened me. I told her I had no power to get it undeleted and would she at least leave making fun of Sue out of her threats. Her reply was:

" You have only two options...

1. Put my thread back up and I will say nothing more.

2. Do not put my thread back up and I will create five million different
accounts all trashing you. If you think that doesn't include Sue, then
guess again. It's not about Sue... I know it's your biggest fear and the
best way to hurt you. I like Sue... But sometimes innocent bystanders
become collateral damage in a war. And that is exactly what you are
starting here.

So if my thread is not put back up... this will become a war. You need to
ask yourself if you really want this hassle. And if you really want to
deal with the wrath of my anger.

You have until the end of the day to decide."

If she was only threatening me I would have laughed it off. But because of Sue I tried to placate her. She wrote this:

David, Please forward this to Mason...

Mason ~
If my thread is not put back up ~ OR if you EVER delete another post or
thread of mine again (and ban me) ~ I will make sure that same post is on
every single other poker forum out there. Do not use your power of
authority against me again. Whatever I will say will still be said, the
only thing is that it will drive people to read about it on other sites.
So.. you might as well be smart about this and make the money off of it.

That is all.

Oh wait.... I should just tell you now... I'm going to do an interview
with Wicked Chops and Raw Vegas Tv and NWP and Bankroll Boost and Pocket
5s on Monday IF my thread is not posted back on the forum. Also, Bluff
magazine is doing a feature on me too. If you think you are protecting
David in this, guess again. I will make sure to spill the beans on
everything I can. Including his relationship with a 21-year old inbred..
Seeing as his is too mentally retarded to have a normal relationship with
anyone in his age range or intelligence and can only coexist with underage
runaways and handicapped girls. I will also talk about his deviant
behavior towards me.

~ Brandi

I hope Mason will forgive me for not forwarding it. He would have probably made the ban permanent and I was hoping I could still calm Brandi down, at least regarding Sue. I wasn't quite sure what she had in mind. But then I get a mind blowing PM from Brandon telling me that Brandi is trying to reestablish contact with him if he will find an unattractive picture of Sue that she can spread around.

From that point on every action I took was soley to prevent that. Friendly emails to Brandi. Shipping her money. Not defending myself on the thread about me. Every other goal paled in comparison. Although I have never bothered to read the emails Brandi posted, I am assuming some came after I made this decision.

As to the emails written before all this happened. (I am assuming they are not made up). The truth is far less creepy than most assume. And I am about to tell you the real story. I didn't till now because it was far more important not to set Brandi off. A lessor reason was that even the most negative spin you could put on them wouldn't bother me. I had fallen for Brandi but couldn't express it? I was a sucker for pussy pictures? A guy who wanted some action for poker lessons? All false but who cares anyway? She wasn't saying I was disloyal to my friends or that The Theory of Poker contains major errors.

But with her blackmail weapon now gone I can now explain. From the moment I met Brandi I let her know that if I was available I would hit on her. Just like TF. She replied that the only thing about him that bothered her was that he was sneaky. Had he asked to be a sugar daddy she would go for it. I took that to be an offer which I reluctantly refused. But we did occasionaly get flirtatious and slightly naughty. I once grabbed a vibrator out of my glove compartment and put it between her legs. If that disgusted her she never mentioned it. When I would visit her she often lay down in my lap.
And she was flirtatious to Sue also. Sue hoped I would bring her home to her.

But that was only a small part of our relationship. I was mainly trying to mentor her and help both of us benefit from her notoriety.

After a six month seperation for no good reason, the blowup with Brandon allowed me to try to resume where we had left off. I was well aware that in pursuing that path it was incumbant on me to try to get her to make amends with those she had wronged. So I lectured her a lot. When I got to LA last month I had some phone conversations with Brandi. In one of them I mentioned that I hate it when girls shave completely. She surprised me by saying she was just the opposite. And volunteered to come to my room and prove it in bikini panties. We didn't get around to that. The next day I met her for dinner with two friends. And she acted like a bitch toward me. Trivial stuff but completely uncalled for. Given the help I had recently given her. It was part of the reason I cut my trip short. But we still remained somewhat friendly.

When I got back to Vegas she went on a tear. 4K in a week. My two contributions were recognizing that 90 player $24 SitnGos were right up her alley and helping her with the more technical aspects. She did the rest herself. Then the one day I'm gone she blows it all. Half spent, half on $500 Satellites. I was furious that she did that but offered her one more chance. $260 for ten buy ins but she has to promise not to play higher. A piddling amount that could still reap great benefits. And as a token of appreciation how bout a picture of what you had offered to model for me? No problem she says.

Next day she is playing in a $100 tourney and there is no picture. She claims she got a small infusion of extra money. Not an acceptable excuse but forgivable. But what about the picture? Had she said that it made her feel uncomfortable, or that she didn't have time, or some such thing it would have been OK. Instead she wrote "I told you that I would send it but I didn't say when". What? She is treating me like a sucker. What did I do to deserve that? That set me off to write the other emails that you might have read. (And when I used the expressions "please me" or "be nice to me" it wasn't a euphemism for sex whether you believe me or not.)

The last few paragraph could contain some minor innacuracies but who cares? Like I said I wouldn't even care if you believed everything she implied.
The blackmail about Sue was another story though. Not the implication that I am too abnormal to have a relationship with a typical 40 year old. I can get plenty of testimonials to disprove that. It was the devastation of Sue that Brandi was holding over her head. (Any post making fun of Sue will be deleted by the way). Nipping it in the bud will hopefully ameliorate that.

But that is not why this is being posted. It was because in spite of the fact that Sue is vaguely aware that Brandi was up to no good she begged me to.
She wanted to save Brandi's life.

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