Saturday, September 30, 2006

As a poker enthusiast, I hate to see this happen, but now that it has, everyone is best off taking a deep breath, stepping back for a few days, and seeing what transpires. The rush for immediate answers is one that will turn up a lot of false leads, false hope, and false conclusions.

"Uncertainty is the name of the game right now, and people's reactions to uncertainty may be even more harmful to poker than the actual bill."


Today is the three year anniversary of Guinness and Poker.

I'm trying to decide how high on my internal irony scale that the online poker legislation was passed on my blog birthday.

Pretty fucking high.

That being said, Bonus Code IGGY on Party Poker, damnit!

No cashing out here.

Friday, September 29, 2006


Reading the poker ban legislation language right now with a serious insider...

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

I can't wait to blog something besides this pending legislative crap. Hell, a boringass hand history is better than continuing this death watch over online poker.

The latest from Reuters:


Online gambling bill hits snags in Congress

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Efforts to win U.S. congressional passage of a bill to ban most forms of Internet gambling by tacking it onto a must-pass bill hit a roadblock on Tuesday, but aides said Republican backers were exploring other ways to make it law.

Senate Armed Services Committee Chairman John Warner, a Virginia Republican, raised a "strong objection" to attaching any unrelated legislation to a pending defense bill, which has been viewed by supporters of the Internet gambling bill as a prime vehicle for it.

"I have firmly opposed putting any (unrelated) bills in the conference report," Warner wrote in a letter dated September 25 to Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist.

Warner did not cite the Internet gambling bill specifically, but he said other senators have sought to tack at least nine unrelated items to the defense bill.

A Republican aide said Frist has not given up on passing the Internet gambling bill before lawmakers recess at the end of this week to campaign for the November 7 elections. He and other proponents are looking at other possible vehicles, such as a pending measure to bolster port security against potential terrorist attacks, aides said.

"He wants to get it done," one aide said. "We are still working things out. Everyone is still talking."

A senior Democratic aide said, "I wouldn't pronounce it dead yet."

Efforts to win support for a version of the House bill in the Senate have been opposed by lobbyists representing casino owners and horse- and dog-racing interests.

The bill would prohibit most forms of Internet gambling and make it illegal for banks and credit card companies to make payments to online gambling sites.

Investors in British-based gaming companies such as BETonSPORTS Plc, Partygaming Plc and 888 Holdings Plc are closely watching the U.S. legislation.

Democrats have criticized the Republican-backed measure as an election-year appeal to the party's conservative base, particularly the religious right.

Frist is a potential 2008 presidential candidate. He recently appeared at a congressional field hearing in Iowa -- the state that holds the first presidential nominating contest in 2008 -- to hear concerns about Internet gambling.

Supporters of a crackdown on Internet gambling say legislation is needed to clarify that a 1961 federal law banning interstate telephone betting also covers an array of online gambling.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Crikey. Bad news.
This sure has been a crazy up and down issue....

From TheHill.com. Dateline - today.
And Roll Call posted about it, too.

Internet gambling bill revived in DoD measure

2+2 thread discussing this.

And thankfully, the mods stickied a new thread at the top of the Legislation forum where you can catch the latest and greatest news. Bear in mind that things change with a drop of a hat.

Update - Week of September 25th


Controversial language to curb illegal gambling on the Internet snuck back into the defense authorization bill over the weekend.

While the language in the bill was not finalized as of press time last night, the insertion of the Internet gaming language could be a big win for Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.).

But that potential victory hung in the balance on Monday as House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) continued his threats to postpone a vote on the overarching bill until negotiators from both chambers include unrelated measures on immigration and court security.

“The Speaker will not move this bill until these critical security measures are included in it,” Hastert spokesman Ron Bonjean said yesterday.

Conferees were still ironing out defense-related issues yesterday, but lawmakers are now fighting to include a number of non-defense items in the must-pass bill that has become a regular vehicle for pet projects.

The Internet gaming language would create an additional enforcement mechanism for federal officials to crack down on money transferred from banks, credit card companies and other financial institutions to gambling outfits overseas.

Internet gambling is already illegal in most of the country, with the major exceptions of Nevada, Indian reservations and other smaller locales where residents have voted to change the law.

The fight in Congress to enact further enforcement methods has persisted since former GOP lobbyist Jack Abramoff fought to defeat a bill offered by Rep. Bob Goodlatte (R-Va.) in the summer of 2000.

Goodlatte combined his language with a bill introduced by Rep. Jim Leach (R-Iowa) that passed the House earlier this year.

The language included in the defense reauthorization bill appeared to mirror Leach’s language, numerous outside lobbyists said over the weekend. Sen. Jon Kyl (R-Ariz.) has been pushing a companion to the Leach bill, which is far narrower than Goodlatte’s legislation that would, among other things, revamp the 1961 Wire Act.

Frist has been working hard to include some version of the Internet gaming language in the defense reauthorization bill in what a number of outside lobbyists see as a push to ingratiate himself with social conservatives and, more specifically, Leach, whose endorsement would be a big boost during the Iowa primary.

Frist co-hosted a field hearing on Internet gaming with Leach earlier this fall in Iow.

The Internet gaming issue is far from settled because conference negotiations do not end until all the negotiators have signed off on an agreement.

This move to include an Internet gambling curb comes after Senate Armed Services Chairman John Warner (R-Va.) and Sen. Carl Levin (D-Mich.), the committee’s ranking Democrat, rebuffed Frist’s attempts to include it in the bill because it is not related to defense policy.

K Street has been watching the back-and-forth on Internet gambling intently. Wall Street, in particular, has already priced Internet gambling stocks to reflect some of the possibility that Congress will approve the legislation.

A unit of Friedman, Billings, Ramsey & Co, an Arlington, Va.-based investment firm, has been tracking the legislation closely as it related to various Internet gambling companies. In a report last week, the firm wrote that “failure to attach a gaming provision to the DOD authorization bill likely means that proponents have missed their last best chance to pass anti-gaming provisions…before senators head home for the final campaign stretch run.”

Hastert has told negotiators that he will not move the bill unless there is authorizing language to boost the security of judges in and out of courtrooms, eases the process of deporting convicted gang members, and bars their indefinite detention.

Senate leaders promised to include the courtroom language, which was part of a larger child safety that passed the House earlier this year, on must-pass bill some time this year, a House GOP leadership aide said yesterday.

Hastert has made a bill political issue of this push following the brutal murder of the family of a federal judge in Chicago earlier this year. Sen. Richard Durbin (D-Ill.) has also pressed for the legislation.


Here's the Roll Call article:

Roll Call Staff

September 26, 2006

A controversial Internet gambling measure may hitch a ride on a Defense Department authorization bill, but as of press time, a standoff over adding legislation to improve courthouse security and crack down on illegal immigrants in gangs continued to hold up action on the overall Defense package.

While it was not clear that Senate Armed Services Chairman John Warner (R-Va.) has actually agreed to attach the anti-gambling legislation, Republican leadership sources on both sides of the Capitol said the measure would be added to the Defense bill.

“It’s Kyl-style, with a Frist twist,” said a senior aide to Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.) of attaching the Sen. Jon Kyl (R-Ariz.) bill designed to bar Internet gambling by preventing credit card companies from honoring charges on gaming Web sites.

The aide said the Internet gambling bill has been tweaked slightly to ensure optimum support in the Senate, though details of the changes to Kyl’s original bill were not available.

Warner spokesman John Ullyot declined to comment, saying, “This is in line with the long-standing committee policy to keep such negotiations confidential.”

Still, one GOP lobbyist working against the gambling bill said Warner and Frist had a “showdown” last week over the Internet gambling legislation, with Warner telling Frist that he wasn’t going to put the Internet gambling bill in the Defense authorization bill. “Then Frist told him the [DOD] bill won’t come to the floor,” said the lobbyist.

Meanwhile, Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) has threatened to prevent the measure from coming to the House floor if Warner does not agree to include a House-passed courthouse security bill and the gangs legislation.

Warner is concerned that any of the three bills could complicate passage of the larger authorization measure, sources said.

The wrangling over the three law enforcement measures provides a glimpse into the end-of-session gamesmanship that goes on behind the scenes as Members seek to add controversial measures to one “must-pass” bill or another.

And because GOP leaders in both chambers have vowed to recess at the end of this week so that Members can go home to campaign for this year’s pivotal midterm elections, Members and lobbyists have stepped up their push to get their measures sent to the president’s desk before Congress adjourns.

One Democratic lobbyist working against the gambling bill called the past few days a “roller-coaster ride.”

“Frist has been on a jihad about Internet gambling,” this Democratic lobbyist said.

Democratic Senate aides also complained that they have been left completely out of the bargaining process, and that the Senate Judiciary Committee, which has jurisdiction over all three bills, has not approved the versions currently being considered for inclusion in the DOD authorization measure.

“It’s just such a sneaky and sleazy way to go about it,” said one of the aides.

Three bills are moving this week that could play host to the Internet gambling, courthouse security and gangs bill: the spending bills for the Defense and Homeland Security departments and the Defense authorization bill.

But GOP and Democratic Senate sources said that backers of the bills were rebuffed in their attempts to get them attached to the annual Defense spending bill, which has more of an imperative to move since it will actually disburse funds to U.S. troops.

Because House and Senate conferees signed off on a conference report for the Defense spending bill last week, any attempts to add extraneous language now would send the appropriations bill back to conference committee — an unlikely scenario.

Meanwhile, conferees for the Homeland Security spending bill were hoping to wrap up their conference report last night.

That leaves the Defense authorization bill as the only measure in a position to carry the controversial provisions and still have a chance of passing this week.

Bill backers are betting that opponents of all three Judiciary bills will fear the political ramifications of voting against any national defense measure in this potentially volatile election year. And by threatening to hold up action on the bill, both Frist and Hastert hope to force Warner’s hand, reasoning that Warner would be loath to see his authorization bill become unnecessary, like so many other federal agency authorization bills that languish in committee each year.

While it is unusual for Congress not to pass a Defense authorization bill, it only authorizes funds; it does not distribute them.

Even though leadership sources said the Internet bill would be included on the Defense authorization bill, the conference committee on the bill has not yet completed and the deal could hinge on whether the court security and gang bills are also included.

Additionally, Democratic sources said they were not convinced that Warner would go along with the gambit to include the law enforcement bills in the Defense measure.

The Democratic lobbyist said that Warner was not likely to cave in to the pressure.

“You very likely might not have a Defense authorization bill,” the lobbyist said.

Other opponents of the Internet gaming bill said that any legislative vehicle could be fair game.

“We remain on guard that the Internet gambling prohibition could be included” in any remaining bills, said John Pappas, a spokesman for the Poker Players Alliance, which opposes the ban.

Indeed, if the impasse does not get resolved this week, backers of the three bills could attempt to add the measures to legislation such as an omnibus appropriations bill that would be set to move through the lame-duck session after the Nov. 7 elections. And of course, if the Defense authorization bill does not get passed this week, the battle could then begin anew as well.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

"Being an asshole is what makes my life worth living."
Gary Carson

I was pretty bummed when Gary got irked at me a while ago for quoting him on this here humble poker blog because I've always been one of his biggest fans. We straightened it out and Gary posted the following to RGP:

"I heard from the guy at guinnessandpoker and he's reformed, he's no longer an asshole. In exchange for two of his daughters and a mule he now has permission to use some of my rgp posts in his blog."

I'm gonna have a Gary Carson tribute day right now. And hell, I've actually done a little reading on poker lately, so hopefully there's a whiff of an uber post in the air. Anyway, allow me to pimp Gary's Math & Poker blog, while I'm at it.

This post brought to you by the biggest online poker aquarium on the web:
Party Poker with Bonus Code IGGY, damnit!

I'm sad to have missed the Bash. I tried as best I could but Real Life got in the way.

Best story I've heard so far was Maudie getting felt up by Gavin Smith.

This online poker ban thing is NOT going away. And it's not looking good.

The current 2+2 thread is over 400 posts now. Thanks to Berge and Mr. K we have the latest skinny. Educate yourself if you want. Be ignorant at your own peril.

If you guys think this is fun, wait til the end of the year Omnibus spending bill we will do.

Mr. K:
That's right. And poker players should not neglect this omnibus as another potential vehicle for online gambling legislation. If Frist & Co. fail to attach their language to the DoD Authorization, they may well find a more hospitable host in the year-end omnibus appropriations bill, as I've said several times before.

Wow, nice, Mr. K.

From the full thread:


The saga continues, according to Congress Daily PM, but not in a good way. These assholes sure are determined:

Update from Congress Daily PM:

"Senate Majority Leader Frist's bid to attach a rider to the defense authorization bill that would crack down on online gambling has picked up momentum after it was thought to be written off earlier this week. "We are working and pushing and trying and hoping and negotiating -- but it's not done yet,"said a top Frist aide, who declined to detail negotiations.

Gambling industry lobbyists have stepped up their presence, especially aiming to persuade the chairmen and ranking members of the House and Senate Armed Services committees to jettison the provision as they attempt to file the conference report as early as Monday.

"The question is whether the authorizers get enough grief over this that they force the [House and Senate] leaders to move off," said one top lobbyist. "Time is a major factor now. They have to file soon." The House in July passed, 317-93, a comprehensive measure to ban most forms of online gambling. Lobbyists said they feel the issue is primarily being driven by Frist's bid to court conservative Christians who play a critical role in the GOP presidential nominating process and for whom the online gambling ban is a top legislative priority.

Frist is pushing a truncated version of the House bill that essentially would bar banks and credit card companies from processing payments for online bets and make it a crime for a gambling business to accept credit cards, wire transfers or any other bank instrument to process payments for illegal gaming transactions.

But, according to lobbyists, Frist was able to pick up key Senate support after including a carve-out for the politically powerful horse racing industry, which has supporters such as Majority Whip McConnell.

House leaders appear inclined to go along with Frist, according to lobbyists, even though his rider does not include House language sponsored by Rep. Bob Goodlatte, R-Va., that would amend the 1961 Wire Act to prohibit businesses from using all forms of new technology to accept bets over state and foreign lines. Goodlatte had strenuously fought to include changes to the Wire Act in the House bill, but that language has been considered too contentious to take up in the Senate. A top aide for Speaker Hastert said he was on board with Frist's bid. One lobbyist was even more direct: "Hastert's rolling Goodlatte." Goodlatte's office did not respond for comment.

One key question is the influence of the American Gaming Association, especially AGA President Frank Fahrenkopf Jr., a former chairman of the Republican National Committee. The AGA is calling for a commission to study the online gambling industry, including whether the United States should regulate and tax the industry rather than enacting a complete ban. It also counts Senate Minority Leader Reid as an ally. "I favor a ban. I don't like it. But failing that, I would certainly go along with a study," Reid said Thursday. Lobbyists said Native American tribes with gaming interests also are contacting lawmakers.

Sen. Jon Kyl, R-Ariz., a gambling opponent, said Thursday he thought that his side would eventually succeed even if the rider was not included on the defense authorization bill, but possibly another piece of legislation before the end of the year. "We will find a way to get legislation on online gambling this year," said Kyl, who faces a tough re-election bid. "Some gambling interests oppose what we are trying to do, but I am confident that we have a way to get it done."


I'll be here with any and all updates. It's crunch time folks.
Be prepared to work the phones if you care at all about playing online poker in the US.

*** Edit/Update: New post and new changes in Washington:
Interesting ... potential DoD bill clusterfu*k

Monday AM analysis from my hero, Mr. K:

Good find on the article, Nate, and I agree with much of your analysis in this thread. This is a real curveball, and it breaks across all kinds of crazy lines. We have Dem versus Republican on this (at least the immigration piece -- which you all need to know is not the big immigration reform bill, but a smaller, more limited package focusing on deportation of criminal aliens). We have House versus Senate, featuring the most powerful man on Capitol Hill (Hastert) against a guy known to buck his party when he wants to (Warner). We have a deadline of passage by Friday, and we have elections coming up, which puts pressure on passage of troops bills. All in all, we've got ourselves a real Potomac drama here, with Internet gambling stuck right in the damned middle.

The gambling bill's fate rests as much on events totally unrelated to it as it does on the holds and battles immediately related to it. I want to comment much more extensively on how this will begin to play out, but I will refrain from doing so until I get a chance to talk with some people tomorrow and read the Hill rags, which I guarantee will have a good beat on this story. CongressDaily, CQ Today, and Roll Call will all probably have value-added coverage tomorrow AM.

Here's the thing that all of you need to know about this week: All the usual rules go out the window on procedure. All of them. This is the last week before one of the most tumultous elections in the last 20 years. At no point in the past decade and a half have the House and Senate been so at odds with one another, at least as far as I know. The environment is not just about Democrats versus Republicans, it is Republicans versus Republicans as well on several major items, and we are going to see some crazy fireworks before week's end.

My prediction: leaders will assemble a monster bill that will roll taxes, military, energy, immigration all together in to a single package, and they will dare the rank and file to oppose it this close to an election. There will be plenty to complain about in this package... Chairmen will get their feelings hurt (again, in Grassley's case), moderates and partisans will explode with anger at certain provisions, interest groups will rally for it and against it, and in the end we'll have big, highly publicized votes on it in each chamber. It might pass the House, but it'll fail in the Senate, and the R's will go on calling the Democrats obstructionists. Or at least this is one way things could play out...

How the Internet gambling bill shakes out in that mix is anyone's guess at this point. More to come on that later.


Its now time for the first second ever installment of classic Carson RGP quotes. It's probably much more funny if you've visited RGP over the years, but there are still some wonderful witticisms.

Carson's response to seeing a compilation of his quotes:

"There's a couple of those that I don't remember writing. But, I used to drink a lot."

Random pictures below.

Speeling never corrected.

--- Carson regarding Alan Schoonmaker ---

Y'all need to forgive Alan, he lives in Texas, a state with no state income tax, and he doesn't really understand how taxation works.

His book would have made a nice magazine article -- maybe a long one in 3 parts.
And, he's bald.

This isn't about intellectual property. It's about Alan searching for a way to restore his sense of manhood since his hair fell out.

I suggest you take this to an attorney. Or to the hair club for men.

You can measure your dick with a ruler? No wonder you can't get a date.

I'm waiting for his "So you wanna be a psychologist" series.

Some guys, when they get a little older, they start losing their hair and exhibit other signs of aging. When that happens, they'll do whatever it takes to get it hard again, even writing a book.

--- Carson on his relationships ---

>>>> I'm not kidding - you owe me another highlighter!

Back when I was living with the school teacher she'd bring home all
kinds of stuff and I had plenty of highlighters. But, since she threw
me out I can't help you with that.

Sure I've been broke. Hell, I'm broke right now. But, it's a woman
thing -- nothing to do with poker.

I'd prefer to be getting laid, but with my age, the diabetes, side
effects of the zoloft, bad teeth, lack of style in clothing, and cheap
car that just isn't happening so much anymore.

>>>> Nothing lasts forever. She left and Gary's back in the trailer park again.

Uncanny. Do we know each other? But, you got the part about her
leaving wrong. It was her house, she threw me out

Men who are vegetarians are just doing it as a way to get laid. At
least that's been my experience in being a vegetarian. I used to own
an escort agency and I couldn't get laid.

I wish my clothes would get thrown in the road. They usually burn
them in the tront yard.

In a 1488 game this afternoon, someone said they never win when they
raise with AK so they don't raise with it. I said, everytime I sleep
with a woman she ends up dumping me but I still sleep with women.

>>>>> I heard that you guys are going to get coloured (or should I say
>>>>> colored) bills soon too.

Somethings gotta happen soon to improve my sex life.

>>>> Nor do they have to induce anybody to come.

When I was very young is would sometimes be spontanious, but I pretty
much have to be induced to come nowdays.

Not according to my last girlfreind, the one who gave away all her
money to PETA.

But, that wasn't my live changing event. Mine was when my 6th grade
teacher (who drove a black 1957 chevy convertible) sat on her desk and
crossed her legs.

When you get a little older you realize that getting lucky is a good
thing, it's not something to fret about.

>>>> guys im going to foxwoods in a week. wife is coming along
>>>> who does not gamble. any thoughts as to something she
>>>> can do while im grinding it out at the 3\6 tables?

Sure, glad to help, what time do you want me to meet her?

>>>> Bring that special ed teacher back. There is more work to do.....

She's still back in Austin. Replaced me with a couple more cats.

>>>> However, I did have a possible solution. Find a working spouse.

And make sure she has a car. And that either her kids are grown or
her ex-husband has them.

--- Nobody could ever accuse Carson of blatent hero worship ---

>>>> I honestly believe that you are totally insane and that it's
>>>> pointless to communicate with you rationally.

So, since you're not comfortable communicating rationally you'll just
do so irrationally?

Losing 10's of thousands in a poker game and having no memory of it
the next day becaue you'd too drunk isn't a sign of a problem with
alchohol. After all, it was only beer.

>>>> I think I do. He's younger, more intelligent, more successful,
>>>> better looking, gets more respect

I'm not younger than Danny.

He welched on a bet and I'm still pissed off about it.

I can't help myself. Danny is such an idiot, and it's so much fun to
punch holes in his little bubbles.

Now I have time to devote to ensuring that Caro doesn't rewrite

Danny is very thin skinned, and he's a drunk. Annie, like most
adults, considers him pretty much a joke. Danny can't cope with
people who don't give him the respect he wants. Hence his drunken,
abusive rampage.

That's why Phil can't beat ring games. The only way he can get the
village idiots to play with him is if they draw his table in a

In live games there is always another hand. In tournaments there is
always another tournament. Unless you are Phil Hellmuth and can't
face tomorrow if someone else has more bracelets than you

I'll bet you got that silly idea out of one of those Kreiger books.

>>>>Slim didn't make the final table, he'd have looked super classy.

A rattlesnake hatband, that's classy.

Look, Danny is a drunk. Jennifer Harmon thinks he's cute when he's
drunk. Annie thinks he's obnoxious. Since he knows he's irresitably
cute, he knows Annie is a terrible judge of character. Otherwise
she'd think he was a cute drunk. His judgment, however, is perfect,
so he can play that drek "creatively". Since her judgement is so
poor, she's just being a fish when she tries to be "creative".

I don't recall Howard having been bashed at all on rgp. There's lots
of other high profile poker players who haven't been bashed here. Some
of the ones who've been bashed are bashed by drunks who happen to also
be high profile players

>>>> of said the things I did. As for me being a drunk? LOL, that's just
>>>> laughable. I probably drink on average about two days a week, and
>>>> when I do it's only beer and wine. I rarely if ever drink hard
>>>> alcohol.

You're right. That is funny. I've never heard a drunk use that
rationalization before

>>>> Question...WHY does a player who is tied for the all-time lead
>>>> in WSOP bracelets won, get himself staked by anybody else...?!

Because the advance check on his book bounced and his wife's medical
malpractice insurance went up?

They don't count. Negreana isn't an American, he's Canadian. And,
Hellmuth is from Wisconsin or Minn. or something like that, he's
almost a Canadian.

The current issue of CP has photo's of most of the event winners
wearing their bracelet. Of course Phil's picture shows him waving it
around rather than wearing it.

And, don't call me a liar. You might piss me off.

I dont' beleive anything you say, but I do think you're funny.

I thought you promised you'd stop talking to me?

I dont' see any reason to pay any attention to Malmuth at all if
you're not gonna make personal attacks?

I'm pretty sure Malmuth isn't even human, so that wouldn't count.

Russ's poker ideas are generally good. The problem is that his verbal
skills are barely better than Malmuth's.

what planet is this guy from? Is he related to Malmuth?

>>>> What's Lou K's poker background? I was considering buying one of his
>>>> books but I'd like to know the depth of his poker experience.
>>>> Thx

I'm pretty sure he's accredited by the Caro Institute of Poker for the
Western States. Not sure what name he uses on the diploma though.

Sklansky will talk to you even if you don't buy one of his books.

Next we'll get into the computation of standard deviation. Lou screws
that up too

Mark is the head of the satanic cult that killed Laci Perterson.

I heard he got into a poker game with willie nelson, pissed away all
his money on drugs, now he's being staked by Tom McEvoy.

--- Carson and Paul Phillips ---

What do civilized people think about spitting in someone's face?

In Paul's case, many players would think what he did was okay when
it's him and his good looking girlfriend. If it would have been me
(his homeless looking buddy) he was talking too those same players
might have objected.

If you don't know the difference between reading a book at the table
and seeking another's advise about how to play then you're beyond
help, spitting in someones face wouldn't even help.

How about somebody who's afraid to go to a Las Vegas cardroom becuase
a wealthy Walther Mitty imposter threatened to spit in his face?
Would that count?

--- Carson and his fellow RGPers ---

>>>> I have spoken with the parties behind FabulousPoker and can
>>>> absolutely assure you 100% that Russ " the dipshit thief" Boyd
>>>> has nothing to do with them.

You know this because you talked to somebody?

Well, at least we know now that you're at least as smart as an east
Texas peckerwood.

>>>> it is Winning 7-Card Stud: Transforming Home Game Chumps Into
>>>> Casino Killers.

I thought Tad just stalked her. I didn't know he actually killed her.

Of course. I had a brain hit and forgot this guy is so stupid that he
actually used his own phone. Whenever I'm stalking someone I use a
stolen cell phone.

I thought Tad only stalked poker dealers.

Razzo is a troll. Unless he's posting about popular poker, then he's
a shill. Unless he's posting about the Iraqi poker game, then he's
the floorman I would never say anything that might offend him.

Also, do you actually know Razzo? What does it take to convince you
that someone is stupid?

Eric is in Mississippi. The phone in Biloxi is at Fayad's gas
station. Fayad's aunt is the 911 operator and after she send her boy
down to fetch Eric for the phone call she hung around the store and
was able to record the call.

I think it means that Linda is one of those violent man haters who
snips of the end of the mail response.

but linda is so easy to pick on, because she's a girl.

>>>> I challenge Mr. Carson to toss some coins with me.

Yawn. How about if I challange you to a reading comprehension match?

No, Vince, I was talking about the yahoo that's using yahoo. How's
that VW bus boing btw? Austin still has some hippie chicks who think
fat bald-headed guys with ponytails and VW buses are sexy, so be sure
and drive thru on your trip.

Frank is a 19 year old bisexual swedish girl interested in
corresponding with an overweight, middle-aged American man.

That's right. You dont' want the player to make mistakes that can be
exploited by others, only mistakes that can be exploited by you.
We should make that a rule.

--- Carson and penis's (peni?) ---

Caro's roulette system is a waste of time only if you're a humorless prick.

>>>> I am not a humorless prick

Yes, you are.

You really are a humorless prick. I'm not pissing on your leg, it's
really raining.

And, I'm not equating them at all. I think a president strutting
around in military uniform is much, much worse than a president
getting a blowjob in the oval office.

One of the instructors in the training class for Texas correctional
officers used to tell the students that you could tell the gay inmates
because they were the ones with big dicks.

Back when Danny N. was challanging me to a duel (before he found out
how big my dick really is)

We compare dick sizes here. IQ comparisons are done at

Maybe I should have just put my dick on the table. That would have
impressed them.

>>>> Why don't we compare penis sizes while we're at it.

Well, I would, but I'm sorry, you just don't make my dick hard.

>>>> Clinton got a BJ from a CHICKEN too ;~))

It's legal in Arkansas.

>>>> It's absolutely amazing that your book sold even one copy.

If you'd read my chapter on blow jobs you'd understand.

--- Carson about himself ---

I guess it's a character flaw. I don't like to leave until I have all
the money.

I mean he's a proven failure in judging people, he doen'st like me.
And, I'm the nicest guy I know.

I was reading the paper this morning and the Gulfport police ran a
prostitution sting with a bunch of female cops trying to solicit
customers on the beach, just down the street from me. A bunch of
arrests. Luckily for me I'm broke so had to turn them down when they
approached me.

My biggest career mistake in the Navy was telling our XO that I could
come back and see him when he got thru sucking LBJ's dick. I'm not
sure how many of today's sailor would make that kind of career

Well, I do have a close, personal relationship with god. That's why
I'm so lucky at poker.


I don't have any. But, then again I don't need any. I think it's
good that WSOP bracelets go to those who need them for a sense of self

>>>>Throwing stones are we ?
>>>>Better sell that glass house :)

No glass in my trailer house. Plastic windows.

You got that out of my book? Cool. How do you do that? I didn't even
know I knew how.

>>>> He is often abrasive, but it's said that "those people in the top 2% of
>>>> intelligence have a hard time getting along with the other 98%." :

I'd probably have to take 4 or 5 mensa tests before I passed one. So,
most of the time I'm in that 98%

>>>> When i first found RGP there was this obnoxiousy biterr man named
>>>> gary Carson who would be amongst the rudest, nastiest individuals
>>>> in all of usenet.

I do my best.

gary carson can't play for shit

I've been homeless and it wasn't by choice.

>>>> Gary - don't you find it interesting that he still wants poker
>>>> lessons, even after admitting to owning your book? :D
>>>> I wonder if he's read it - or perhaps he's just using it as a booster
>>>> seat.

To use it effectively as a booster seat you need to buy two copies

Actually, I"ve been working (shudder), trying to get a book manuscript
finished. I discovered that it saves time when I spell stuff right
the frirst time, so that temporary work ethic has spilled over into my
posts. I'll get finished with the manuscript soon, and that crap will

>>>> And how come your spelling is so much better now? What the
>>>> hell is going on?

I've been drinking more.

I probably often come across as an asshole on this forum. And, I
probably am an asshole. But, when I'm in a cardroom I'm a really nice

You're right. You should be dubious. I shouldn't have shot from the
hip so quickly. It's a personal issue with me though -- one I
struggle with every day.

If there's one thing I learned from my Daddy it's that if you never
pawn your gun you'll never go broke.

>>>> When I find my book, can I mail it to you and get your autograph?

It's okay with me, but you need to realize that I'm not very
dependable. I don't recommend it.
My address is 500 Broad, Box 11, Gulfport, MS, 39501

I had some family connection with the Czech mafia in Temple, but I'm
not sure that they have wide influence in the area.

I slept good that night, knowing that wherever I was in the house
there would be a weapon handy.

I'm a compulsive gambler. I'm fat. I'm poor. But, I'm well educated
And, I don't work. I'm not bald though. You got a problem with that?

Uh. When you started posting here you were self-promoting in the
hopes of getting hired by a cardroom as a consultant on cheating (and
in the hopes of collecting on some attempts at extortion). More
recently you started selling a book. You havn't written it yet, and
nobody has bought a copy yet, but you're selling it.
Have I ever mentioned that I wrote a book that some of y'all mjight
find interesting?

It's always worked when I did it. But, also all those times I was in
a really bad mood and would have really enjoyed bashing somebodies
fucking head in with a brick.

I know how to spell well. There are other words I have trouble
spelling, but I got that one nailed.

I'm pretty sure they have sentences and paragraphs in the german
written word. I never learned the language, but my mother's german
so I'll check with her about that.

Some woman poker player was saying something about me to her
girlfreind last night. She ponted me out at the table and described
me as that old poker player with the big belly.

Being an asshole is what makes my life worth living.


you might want to try www.twoplustwo.com. I don't post there.

I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She
didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she
bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still
havn't spoken to her again.

Never lived in a doublewide. Got a great-aunt in Bakersfield got a
doublewide. But, she married outside the family.

--- Carson misc.---

I appreaciate what Gutshot has provided all week too. But, a dead
horse is a dead horse. How can you not kick it?

Huh? Are you nuts? These are poker players. They've played with
killers, hookers, drug dealers, bank robbers, wife beaters, lawyers,
off duty floormen, writers, all kinds of lowlifes. Why would anybody
give a shit?

Don't forget sunspots and tides. A good conspiracy theory cannot be

Uh. He won all the chips. He won a bunch of them while you weren't
watching. But, he won all the chips. In poker that's kind of how we
define best.

I don't think that a hat with a piece of tape across the front is very stylish.

Who the hell are you? These people are from Hollywood. They know
what style is. Brain dead bimbos. Men who wear hats indoors. Hype.
Phony proposition bets. Loud colors. Style.

>>>> Bottom line, if you can't see that George Bush is a decent and
>>>> honorable man with malice toward none

He bears no malice towards Bin Laden or Saddam. It's not like he
wants to kill them or anything.

Jack in the Box puts herion in their meat.

Cats aren't people, however.

That's kind of like saying the difference between a red apple and a
green apple is smaller than the difference between a green banana and
a square banana.

You're probably in violation of the Patriot Act if you call your
mother on Sunday afternoon.

If you play it backwords you can see John Lennon slipping in a cold

The Dixie Chicks had death threats. Hell, some of their death threats
were on radio call in shows. Of course most of those threats came
from ignorant rednecks who stayed home that day because their truck
wouldn't start.

I like commenting on bald headed guys lack of hair, then asking them
if viagra helps any.

I suscribe to the Card Player online newsletter and didn't get a
bonus. Do I actually have to read it or something?

The Biloxi cardroom gets quads, Gulfport gets gay waiters with
attitude. No wonder they have more games in Biloxi.

>>>> What does expertise in such things as variance, standard
>>>> deviation, means etc add to ones hourly or annual poker income?

Nothing, but it impresses the girls.

Well, actually rushes can be predicted. Here's my prediction. ----
You will have a rush. The longer you play, the more likely it is that
prediction will be accurate.

>>>> My grammatical mistakes
>>>> were not intentional but only made out of carelessness in not
>>>> proofreading what I had wrote.

Had wrote? Did you go to Ole Miss?

They don't have any hookers. Sailors are actually reenlisting to get
sent to an island with no hookers. What the hell does that tell you
about the readiness of our military? There is something wrong with
these guys.

>>>> Reminds me of my roommate and how he picks up girls.
>>>> Wow. I guess $10 goes a long way in today's economy.

Canadian money goes a lot further because of all those bright colors.

Maybe that's why he's a pro with a side job.

Being in Canada, sure. Canadians don't even know what language they
speak, much less where they are.

>>>>> Russ you can post lists of anything you want, but if it's not in the
>>>>> form of a bona fide document from a poker site, it's horseshit.

Huh? Bona fide document? What the hell is that? This is the
internet for christ sake, not the driver's license office.

If you maintain a close and personal relationship with god then luck
will be permanent.

If this was the two plus two forum readers would think "almost
irrefutabley" meant something.

If you had a blue car would you call it almost green?

Most lawyers not living in abandoned ranch houses in Idaho and Montana
consider the second amendment pretty much settled law.

Whenever I want an interpertation of what the constitution means
there's this guy in Montana I consult.

I was gonna get a volkswagon van and use it to pick up 19 yo hippie
chicks but somebody told me that all the 19 yo hippie chicks are 56.

all you have to do to get affordable medical care for life is get
exposed to agent orange

There are many things in common between the human brain and an acorn

>>>>> Given that he's put a poker room in every hotel he's built....

I guess so. He put one in Beau Rivage but everytime I go look for it
they seem to have misplaced it.

They have a new requirement. They require all new customers to
demonstrae knowledge of sentences and paragraphs.

Have you read the loose games section in HFAP? If so, that's your

>>>>> Reminds me of my roommate and how he picks up girls.

He gives them $10? I think that only works in Quebec.

Lucky speaking to a woman con-artist).
"I can't believe you'd just stand there and lie to me. You're like
Nixon, with tits."

Are people this stupid actually allowed to walk down the sidewalk
unescorted in California?

Uh. that would be the owners of Enron who got punished. You know,
the widows and orphans and retired plumbers.

Eudemonic Pie always sounded like a cookbook for vegatable based
desserts to me

> where I'm getting stuck. Everyone's just providing opinions, not
> coming out with numbers.


Yes. Nobody answered your original question because nobody rational
has one.

You're right. It's all as absurd as the idea that a sitting President
would risk his career by an invovlement in an office burglary. Never

Downtown Houston just isn't a viable panhandling location. You'll see
more panhandlers in the parking lot of the Randell's grocery store
near River Oaks then you will downtown. It's a better location.

He's Canadian. As someone else recently pointed out, those are the
guys with the American culture, British cuisine, and French know-how.
Of course he comes across as strange.

When you bury people in the desert and they get dug up and drug off by
mountain cats then some things just won't seem important.

The newest profile for suspected terrorists is "has a cell phone".

Thinking they aren't morons doesn't make them not morons.

Do you think being femaile is a disability under the ADA?

People who rely on Letterman to get news details often scratch their

without morons playing poker there would be no poker

The internet has great porn. Find some and jerk off. It'll be more
fun than playing in this game, and probably at least just as

When Keynes was out selling his ideas to FDR, economists considered
him a liberal nutcase, not serious at all. He was English but nobody
paid attention to him in London, so he went to Washington where FDR
was stuck in a wheelchair and couldn't get away, he had to listen.

The fact that I don't like the president of the US wearing a military
uniform in the course of his duties as president doesn't make me a
liberal ninny. It doesn't even make me a democrat.


Cameron Diaz:

And because Gary was so bitter in the posts above, I offer this photo as my own personal HairShirt.

Link of the Day:
Jew's on First

In August, Denis Leary and Lenny Clarke were doing a charity-related appearance on a Boston Red Sex TV broadcast when they learned that team first baseman Kevin Youkilis is Jewish.

The rest is baseball Catholic/Jewish interfaith history:

Where's Mel Gibson now? Where's Mel Gibson now, huh? He's in rehab and Youkilis is at first base. Alright, Mel -- you happy, Braveheart?

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